Marriage+Money+Finances

Ian J said:
"Roommate style" is one extreme. "Joint everything" is another. I'm betting, like most things, somewhere in the middle is probably an okay solution.
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I disagree with your conclusion that those are extremist positions. Joint (almost) everything works very well for us. Roomate style seems silly to me, but would be the perfect solution for others couple. In the middle may be a perfectly acceptable solution for you, but may be a terrible place for others. It's all about who you and your so are (and communicating to identify that).
 
Minnesota_Flyer said:
I disagree with your conclusion that those are extremist positions. Joint (almost) everything works very well for us. Roomate style seems silly to me, but would be the perfect solution for others couple. In the middle may be a perfectly acceptable solution for you, but may be a terrible place for others. It's all about who you and your so are (and communicating to identify that).
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Fair enough.
 
We have a joint checking and savings presently.

When times have changed (hopefully in 10 years), after we have had two children, they have grown up and are back in school, both of us are working again - then we each will develop our own checking accounts, as well as maintaining the joint checking and savings for family items.
 
Maximillian_Jenius said:
So when I find that person, I will definitely like someone with Kristie's monetary skills. My only worry is that who ever I'm with will try to tell me what to do with my money, big no no.
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ahh remember, when using joint accounts, "my money" becomes "our money" which is why i work so hard to keep detailed track of everything. I don't get so detailed as to keeping track of what's ON the receipts but as to what is categorized under what category whether business, personal, vacation, taxes.. you name it...but when using joint accounts, one should always remember that it's "our money" BUT with the caveat that each person must be detailed so the other (whose not managing the money) can easily explain where his/her said money is going and why (gotta always cover your own tush)! :nana2:

plus, we have a rule that anything over $100 (spending cash, not bills etc) must be approved by both parties before it can be spent on the item.
 
SeatClutcher said:
Well, that would be keeping a secret. There's just something to be said (for us, I mean) for having the understanding that we each have some of our own money, that we don't need to know exactly how much the other has, and that neither of us has to check with the other to measure finances/say "is it okay if I get [insert item]...?" The independence is nice.

It doesn't mean there isn't a view of a combined future. Money that goes into joint accounts is for the "joined" couple's future. The money each half of the couple would have for themselves doesn't mean they're any less committed - it just means they want a measure of financial independence. (In my previous marriage, the sharing of the accounts proved more harmful to our relationship than were we to have had separate money...Having to say "Is it okay if I get this?" - because he was in charge of the finances AND made more money - really started to get on my nerves.)
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ok, question for ya then.. how do you figure out how much goes into each separate account? based on amount of income coming in wouldn't really be fair if one person has a much higher income than the other. that type of thing hasn't really worked well for us in the past.
 
Maximillian_Jenius said:
This thread was actually created after reading your comment in another thread that stated she wanted to buy a 550 vs a 535, then stating that it was her money so she can do as she pleases, and that it would be her car vs. both of yours.
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arroo? :confused: i never stated such a thing. I don't even know what car i want. Plus, i just don't have that kind of attitude when it comes to money. haha
 
My wife and i have joint accounts. I sold my business a few years back and tha went into retirement stuff. She works as a C.P.A. and we live on that. She is pretty frugal and i like that because that offsets some wild hair purchases that i sometimes think i cant do without!:) When i come in talking about that perfect something or another the conversation goes like this, I have found this --------- that we really NEED! She either says "Here is how we can do it" my favorite or No:( P.S. I love my wife for a lot of other reasons too! T.C.:) Sometimes i exceed the economical realm of my purchasing power:yup:
 
Kristie said:
ok, question for ya then.. how do you figure out how much goes into each separate account? based on amount of income coming in wouldn't really be fair if one person has a much higher income than the other. that type of thing hasn't really worked well for us in the past.
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The question isn't how much goes into each separate account - that one is simple: each person's paycheck goes into their own account. Why wouldn't that be fair? Each person made X amount of money, so they keep what they earn, minus bills.

The question is, how much goes into the one joint account for bills. Do that by percentages. If I make 50% more money, I'll pay 50% more of the bills. It's easy and fair!

And I'll have to agree the above method wouldn't really work if the couple had kids, or if the couple had some other arrangement (ie, I got you through flight training so now you owe me, etc...)
 
Ian J said:
The question isn't how much goes into each separate account - that one is simple: each person's paycheck goes into their own account. Why wouldn't that be fair? Each person made X amount of money, so they keep what they earn, minus bills.

The question is, how much goes into the one joint account for bills. Do that by percentages. If I make 50% more money, I'll pay 50% more of the bills. It's easy and fair!

And I'll have to agree the above method wouldn't really work if the couple had kids, or if the couple had some other arrangement (ie, I got you through flight training so now you owe me, etc...)
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Or, "I supported your year(s - *cough*) of dilly-dally writing, so now you owe me. BIG TIME." ;)
 
Max, my wife and I both work. I work a blue collar job making white collar money and she works a white collar job making blue collar money ( go figure).

We work together. When I work extra, I make extra money for us. She is pickin gup my slack around the house when I work more. So I fiure we are both chipping in. She pays the bills out of our joint account. What makes it work for us is that she never complains when I buy something. I just have to tell her how much I spent. I don't ask permission I just report. That works for us because we have a decent amount of discretionary money each month. If things were tighter it may not work. Anyways, there isn't any resentment or anything the way we do it.

As for our investments, i control that. I know more about things such as that. I direct where we invest. She deals with the daily bills.

Many different ways. you just gotta find what works for you.
 
We share the responsibility of paying the bills. Whenever I have the time and it's time to pay the bills, I'll do it. If I'm away on a trip, she does it. We have a joint checking and savings account. What's mine is hers and what's hers is mine.

It's a team effort. If you're thinking "just in case we get divorced" - well....that's another subject entirely.
 
My Flight Surgeon said:
I learned years ago that what is mine is hers and what is hers is hers:laff: Works well and there are no disagreements:)
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:yeahthat: :yup: I call it a "user fee". Hand me the paycheck, and I'll do the rest, it's the charge for the use of ME. Plus there are penalties for being a pilot.

(JUST KIDDING, don't freak out!)
 
We both work. And I manage the money. We have a joint checking and money market for paying bills. We don't discuss a lot about making purchases--we each know roughly what our monthly budget should be. If the washer breaks (which it finally did after 26 years), we both know to not make any "I want it" purchases so that it's covered that month. We have no credit card debt, no auto debt, no mortgage--don't owe any one anything! YAY! But that was planned from the beginning. I planned to have no mortgage or debt by the time our son graduated HS. We achieved that. :nana2:

We have a joint brokerage account. But I have my own and he has his own from our inheritances when our parents passed away. I have to manage them. And I manage our 401(k)'s and IRA's. And now I have to manage our son's 401(k) and IRA. Yikes, I'm not the one who needs a second career!

We might retire my Volvo to be an airport car next year. So I might need a new car. But, between Z plan from my sister, rebates from my Mastercard, I might just end up paying cash for it.
 
My wife is a homemaker and I always refer to it as her profession...and she does approach her work in a businesslike and professional manner. She does a wonderful job handling all the domestic issues. The kids, the house...everything is always...in order.

She doens't have an income...but I always refer to my income as OUR income...and I mean it. Everything is joint in regards to finances.

However, a few years back we found out it worked well for her to have her own checking account. She gets $1200 per month into her account and this pays for groceries and little expenses she inccurs throughout the month. When she meets friends for coffee or lunches, etc....she uses this account.

I have small account I use for greens fees (I'm an avid golfer). So whenever I want to play, I take the money out of this account and it doesn't affect the general fund (I put $2,500 in this account at the beginning of the year).

Everything else is joint.
 
Max -
I might be a little late but Pacman4x4 (Brian) and I have joint everything. I take care of the bills and such since he is gone so much it is just easier. We have everything joint but then we each get our "play" money each month where it is understood that we can go use it for whatever and the other can't say anything since it is our play money. It works for us.

When Brian was deployed in Korea for two years I managed our bills and he got an allowance. Now that he is in the sandbox - the same thing - he got so much when he left and then will ask me for more before he takes more just to make sure. Our money isn't tight by no means but he just likes to let me know ahead before he pulls out any amount of money (usually this is when it is over $100).

I have taken care of the books and investments etc since we were married almost 7 years ago. I am neurotic (he will agree) when it comes to keeping things organized and straight. He used to do the books but I would get frustrated when he wouldn't write checks down in the register and told me he remembered how much he had in the account in his head.. Ugh no thanks. (I think this was his way for me to take care of it).

But like others have said it really depends on the couple. I know people who have separate accounts and have for years and it works well and then there are people like us that have joint that works well as well.

Just my .02,
Stacie
 
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