Any advice for a future wife?

autiger10

autiger10

New Member
I think I'm about to flight school and my fiancee has her doubts to say the least. Does anyone have any advice that I could pass along to her about the lifestyle, raising a family, etc. Thanks
 
that's really the best idea cuz then she can hear how it works straight from the horses mouths! we won't scare her off.. promise! :)
 
Thank heavens for jetgirls.net, cuz those of us here at the "dude" site would just tell her to run like hell! :D
 
autiger10 said:
I think I'm about to flight school and my fiancee has her doubts to say the least. Does anyone have any advice that I could pass along to her about the lifestyle, raising a family, etc. Thanks
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Reassure her that it can be done. I made it through the last year with my hubby going through flight school and instructing. He's now an FO at a regional. And we have a 5 year old son who's been along for the ride as well.

As far as adapting to the lifestyle, the most important thing is that she be able *and comfortable* living independantly. You aren't always going to be able to be there to keep her occupied and help her handle things that may come up. Even in flight school, you'll be occupied with training and studying and she'll be on her own a lot. Ways to help make it easier on her:

Brainstorm a list of people/places she can call on for help if you aren't available (AAA for car, handyman service for broken furnace, friends when she is feeling low). Knowing who she can turn to when you aren't there will make it easier to deal with if something comes up.

Help her get involved in the community to keep active when you are busy/away. Taking classes, joining a sports team, finding a hobby group. Whatever she wants to keep her from feeling isolated b/c you aren't there to be with her. Jetgirls is filled with women who know exactly what she is going though, but also she'll probably need some in person friends.

Set up regular communication times. If you are home every day, set aside a regular "couple time" for an hour a few times a week. If you are gone, make it a few hours on your first day back. Try to come up with a regular call schedule when you are gone. Get a webcam (they aren't just for sex related purposes!)

Be commited yourself to helping her get through it instead of just blowing her off. If you expect her to support you though this, then you have to support her as well. It can't all be one sided. Listen to her concerns and try to help her figure a way to get past them- she's nervous about you staying in a crash pad? Take her to see how unglamourous it is. Introduce her to some pilot friends so she feels like she knows some of your coworkers. help her to understand some of the lingo so she feels included. Include her input on what your future career goals might be (which airline to go to, whether to upgrade); it effects both of your futures, not just yours.

I posted here a while back about getting through training with a family in tow as well- http://forums.jetcareers.com/airline-transport-professionals-atp/44153-90-days-wife-child.html. May or may not be helpful to you as well.

Good luck!

K
 
With all that advice about what she should do to keep herself busy and how to find people to help her out when her fiance is gone, I'm left wondering what she might have been doing BEFORE she met him, or how she'd survive if she were single! ;)
 
Well, judging from the amount of times the topic has come up on Jetgirls and the other forums/blogs I've seen, it's advice that bears repeating.

Besides, for every one person that posts, there are five others who want to know the answer but haven't posted the question yet. Not every woman out there has become the self assured, confident, mover and shaker that they aspire to be.

k
 
TheWife said:
:yeahthat: That's where us wives and girlfriends talk about you boys! :)
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Yeah, and us boys are on this site patiently waiting for our supper as you girls are over there having cat chat! :) :sarcasm:
 
(And while you're waiting for supper, we'll be patiently waiting for some attention and a reasonable income!) :)
 
That's why I can get away with such a bombastic statement! Ha!
 
eastbayk said:
Well, judging from the amount of times the topic has come up on Jetgirls and the other forums/blogs I've seen, it's advice that bears repeating.

Besides, for every one person that posts, there are five others who want to know the answer but haven't posted the question yet. Not every woman out there has become the self assured, confident, mover and shaker that they aspire to be.

k
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I know. I was half playing (hence the winky guy). I think the communication set-ups and stuff make a lot of sense; it just seems a grown woman might know how to find a mechanic or an appliance-fixer on her own. No offense intended...but it's a lot of pressure to put on a husband to have them take care of everything when there's a lot the wife can do for herself.
 
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