MTV's The Real World Guy and DEI Hiring

I’d love to not wake up every day to new threats to my access to HRT and medical care. Not get another newsletter about another state legislature banning me from public spaces or threatening to forcibly revert the identity documents of trans people. But instead it’s a slow descent down an ever more oppressive path seeking to eliminate us from existence.

Not long after I came out and started transitioning I was asked what it felt like suddenly waking up every morning knowing there are millions of people (mostly old men) angrily obsessing about me and what’s in my pants. I replied that I wasn’t gonna lie and it was more than a little creepy. The response I got was, “congratulations, you are a woman!”

But I’m also not naive enough to think that if somehow the trans panic could be over come that those seeking to erase us from existence would just go home and live quiet lives not interfering with anyone else’s life and happiness. All that hate would just end up being directed against some other vulnerable group instead of those actually causing the grief and pain and inequity in the world.

Meanwhile the pool’s almost done and until AZ turns ruby red and renames itself Gilead del Sol I can float in peace and escape the world while lobsterfying under the desert sun.

I'm going to say this publicly because maybe someone like you or I are reading this….

Consider me your ally. You're not my first trans friend, by far, everyone's journey is uniquely different but if there's anything I can do to provide you comfort or a hit of solace during these days, consider it done. You have other allies here and around you but remember that sometimes their voices, and especially their actions, get drowned out by the rumble of intolerance and bigotry.

The same old men that are angry with you and the 'pick me's' who got fifth in a swim meet that blame it on someone transgender can absolutely get bent because they think you're easy to pick on and it's just some flippant choice you made. You may a choice to be who you are just like I made the choice to be 5'9 and of West- and North African descent with some sprinklings of frisky caucasian slave owner in a culture built by the wrath of my people, but not for them.

There wasn't a choice. I am who I am as much as you are who you are and the naysayers can get lost. And even if there was, I'd be exactly who I am as well as you would be you.

Keep your head up, find your allies, they're out there and here.
 
There wasn't a choice. I am who I am as much as you are who you are and the naysayers can get lost. And even if there was, I'd be exactly who I am as well as you would be you.

Keep your head up, find your allies, they're out there and here.

Oh believe me when I say that you and some of the other members here have been great support and valued friends in all of this.

I am me, and everyone gets nothing but that from me. A decade and a half in airport customer service taught me how to survive the dregs of humanity and refined and honed an already sharp tongued wit.

What scares the snot out of me is that I have privileges that the vast majority of trans people don’t have. I am an employee of a generally supportive company in a state with good legal protections for my rights. I have the means and ability to move where it’s safe if necessary (with understandably excessive disruption and trauma to my family’s lives). So many don’t and are gonna pay the price for institutional hatred coming from a certain side of the political spectrum.
 
Not long after I came out and started transitioning I was asked what it felt like suddenly waking up every morning knowing there are millions of people (mostly old men) angrily obsessing about me and what’s in my pants. I replied that I wasn’t gonna lie and it was more than a little creepy. The response I got was, “congratulations, you are a woman!”

The comic Taylor Tomlinson has a bit about if she were to wake up as a woman, what would she do? Her answer is to just walk around, maybe she says at night, I can’t remember exactly.

Pretty deep to realize what she is saying, safety would be the curiosity, dream or fantasy (depending on how you view the question).
 
The comic Taylor Tomlinson has a bit about if she were to wake up as a woman, what would she do? Her answer is to just walk around, maybe she says at night, I can’t remember exactly.

Pretty deep to realize what she is saying, safety would be the curiosity, dream or fantasy (depending on how you view the question).

I’m not a little thing. I look down upon @Autothrust Blue ’s hat. Despite the fact I can’t open a pickle jar anymore* I’m not a dainty flower and still manage to intimidate a lot of people just from my height. Before I transitioned I had zero issues going anywhere on overnights. Dark alley short cut to the hotel? No problem! Stumble back after a late night on a 30 hour overnight? Not a concern in the world.

I have, in the last year, had at least three incidents on overnights heading back to the hotel where a guy was following me. One even got close enough to me that I had to slip into a CVS and spend a half hour wandering the aisles waiting for him to leave the area by the entrance. I don’t go out late alone anymore and am rarely out past sunset. If I’m alone I will NEVER have a drink anyplace but the bar of the hotel we stay in.

I was physically assaulted walking back from the light rail one night in college. Ever since then I’ve been keenly aware of my surroundings at all times. After that incident I never noticed any problems or had any issues until the last few years. Funny how long hair, makeup, a purse, and a C cup bra turn the same person from a potential threat into a potential victim.

That’s not the only thing I’ve lost, but it’s peculiar how aware of the while male privilege someone can be when they lose it. Granted I lost it by choice but I can in someways empathize with those fearing it’s loss. I gained far more than a lost, but for those who have nothing else to center their identity that loss could be incredibly deviststing.

* Yes, that was a literally problem I had after starting HRT where I lost enough strength I couldn’t pop the lid off a jar of pickles making burgers one night!
 
Oh believe me when I say that you and some of the other members here have been great support and valued friends in all of this.

I am me, and everyone gets nothing but that from me. A decade and a half in airport customer service taught me how to survive the dregs of humanity and refined and honed an already sharp tongued wit.

What scares the snot out of me is that I have privileges that the vast majority of trans people don’t have. I am an employee of a generally supportive company in a state with good legal protections for my rights. I have the means and ability to move where it’s safe if necessary (with understandably excessive disruption and trauma to my family’s lives). So many don’t and are gonna pay the price for institutional hatred coming from a certain side of the political spectrum.

Thanks. I think it's all about education and talking.

I'll tell you this, I never dreamed in a million years that I'd be 55 years old arguing about what "woke" actually means (and how the word got 'Chipotle'd' - a stolen cultural marker then gentrified), having to stand up to people mistreating my friends for their gender identity or even having conversations about sh— I swore we solved a generation ago.

Today makes the 70's and 80's look like the utopia of Star Trek Next Generation.

When I was a kid, "Dead or Alive" and "Culture Club" were just bands you bob your head to as they played on the bad sound system in the junior high school gym.

Today, hot damn, it'd be a months-spanning cable news outrage and the blogosphere would glow red about delicate children exposed to boys with makeup on indoctrinating our youth and a rushing of new laws on the books.
 
I’ve seen affirmative action at play for more than three decades. The views I had at 25 were much different than the views I have now.

Most folks accept anecdotal accounts without looking any deeper. The most poignant and credible cases are in the executive and management ranks. Those are the rarest cases.

If you skip over those levels, and look at the balance of the work force, the claims become less poignant and less creditable.

Most folks, especially folks on the right, are too lazy to research how AA programs were/are structured. A company might have a 100 positions and set aside 10 slots for AA hires if needed, after competitive hiring. If competitive hiring satisfied AA goals, the 10 slots continue to be filled through competitive hiring.

So, when a loud hateful racist tells you he didn’t get a job because of AA, he’s not telling the whole story, he might not know the whole story, HR departments don’t disclose much.

Angry non-hire assumes he didn’t get hired because of AA when he might not have been hired without AA. Beyond that, he doesn’t understand that he might be telling you he was in the bottom 5% of candidates and the bottom 5% were qualified AA hires.

My takeaway, I don’t believe strangers and their AA stories and I don’t believe you should be sympathetic when somebody is in the bottom 5% of the candidates.

Beyond that, we need to do better with education and training programs so we don’t have to play the AA/DEI game. Do any HBCU schools have aviation programs? If so, I’m sure it’s not a big number.
 
Thanks. I think it's all about education and talking.

I'll tell you this, I never dreamed in a million years that I'd be 55 years old arguing about what "woke" actually means (and how the word got 'Chipotle'd' - a stolen cultural marker then gentrified), having to stand up to people mistreating my friends for their gender identity or even having conversations about sh— I swore we solved a generation ago.

Today makes the 70's and 80's look like the utopia of Star Trek Next Generation.

When I was a kid, "Dead or Alive" and "Culture Club" were just bands you bob your head to as they played on the bad sound system in the junior high school gym.

Today, hot damn, it'd be a months-spanning cable news outrage and the blogosphere would glow red about delicate children exposed to boys with makeup on indoctrinating our youth and a rushing of new laws on the books.

I remember watching Star Trek: The Next Generation when it was “all new this week on KCPQ channel 13, Sunday at 8, 7 central) and cringing at some of the racial and gender allegory story lines thinking “wow, so glad our society is moving past that” only to find, decades in, that we’ve regressed to a point where the corny overly racist or sexist tropes are exceedingly tame by the societal norms of today.

Oh heavens was I ever naive thinking our society was ever that evolved.

On a related note, I thought it was funny when west coast stations would advertise shows as “8, 7 central” but I guess in the days of manually recorded and taped promos it was easier to just make one for the whole country unlike the digital easy edits of today.
 
I'm telling you, there is a huge probability of the "My buddy couldn't get a job because of he's just a dude and isn't ethnic" have something they're not divulging and, even after Road Rules' "decree", they still won't and don't have minorities and women to blame.
 
I remember watching Star Trek: The Next Generation when it was “all new this week on KCPQ channel 13, Sunday at 8, 7 central) and cringing at some of the racial and gender allegory story lines thinking “wow, so glad our society is moving past that” only to find, decades in, that we’ve regressed to a point where the corny overly racist or sexist tropes are exceedingly tame by the societal norms of today.

Oh heavens was I ever naive thinking our society was ever that evolved.

On a related note, I thought it was funny when west coast stations would advertise shows as “8, 7 central” but I guess in the days of manually recorded and taped promos it was easier to just make one for the whole country unlike the digital easy edits of today.

Well, even Film Threat has devolved into bro-ism. "Star Trek is WOKE!" Umm, sugar, Star Trek was always a peek out of the cold war era America toward a utopian future.

I still remember the "the character Michael is all about virtue signaling!" Wait, so a dude with pointy ears, mind-readers, WTF Odo was and tribbles are ok, but a black woman as a starship captain? A BRIDGE TOO FAR!! :)
 
I'm telling you, there is a huge probability of the "My buddy couldn't get a job because of he's just a dude and isn't ethnic" have something they're not divulging and, even after Road Rules' "decree", they still won't and don't have minorities and women to blame.

I know the type, it’s never one story, it’s a bunch of similar stories.

I’ve tried to help a few of these guys only to find out they left a few things out of their stories.
 
I know the type, it’s never one story, it’s a bunch of similar stories.

I’ve tried to help a few of these guys only to find out they left a few things out of their stories.

If we ever meet up for a beer, it'd be fun to trade stories.

Man, I've been put on BLAST a lot… only to discover…

"Howwwwwwwww well do you know your friend again?"
 
On a related note, I thought it was funny when west coast stations would advertise shows as “8, 7 central” but I guess in the days of manually recorded and taped promos it was easier to just make one for the whole country unlike the digital easy edits of today.

I totally forgot all about this until you mentioned it. That was weird in retrospect
 
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