For you 121 pilots that have had an emergency.

Roger Roger said:
1: the coffee I drank on the ~30 minute hop from JNU to SIT to pick up a patient hit wrong about 15 mins after landing. FBO locked up. Thought I had struck gold when I spotted a porta john by the DOT office. After waddling over I discovered it was padlocked. Airplane has a lav, but we’ve never used it and don’t really have a way to service it. I head into a secluded stand of alder and my FO, god bless him, after a very well deserved laugh at my situation, rifles the unused lav of the airplane and finds most of a roll of toilet paper, thus saving my socks. The long and short of it is, you know the old saying about “does a bear • in the woods?” Well, I dunno about bears (IME they mostly • on the runway in Kake Alaska) but medevac pilots definitely • in the woods.

#2 (heh). I’m up in Anchorage for my medical (no local dude in juneau). I chow down on a pizza at silver gulch in the airport prior to hopping on the milk run home. Well, approximately the time we start engines in Cordova, my gut sounds a red alert that something in that pizza did not agree with it. I hold on with superhuman effort until the 10k chime, and then VFR direct to the aft lav. I’m back one more time on the what…40 minute flight? And again on the hop from Yakutat to Juneau.
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Code Brown!
 
thehobbit said:
For you 121 pilots that have had an emergency, you've had to fill out an incident report because of declaring an emergency. When applying to other airlines do you mark yes that you've had an incident on the questionaire?
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My carrier calls it an IOR. Incident is a reserved word.

The last thing we want to do is disincentivize declaring emergency. if anything, it's a good thing. Declaring emergency should almost always be considered a good thing.
 
derg said:
I had some Legal Seafood clam chowder “hit wrong” on approach into DTW years ago.

That was the closest I’ve been to sh—ing myself since the diaper years.

Thank goodness the rampers were in position because, if they weren’t, welp, we’re going to set the parking brake right here on U9 and go see a man about buying a horse.
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protip: Most commercial airline lavatories have feminine products that can help if you're in danger.
 
Roger Roger said:
1: the coffee I drank on the ~30 minute hop from JNU to SIT to pick up a patient hit wrong about 15 mins after landing. FBO locked up. Thought I had struck gold when I spotted a porta john by the DOT office. After waddling over I discovered it was padlocked. Airplane has a lav, but we’ve never used it and don’t really have a way to service it. I head into a secluded stand of alder and my FO, god bless him, after a very well deserved laugh at my situation, rifles the unused lav of the airplane and finds most of a roll of toilet paper, thus saving my socks. The long and short of it is, you know the old saying about “does a bear • in the woods?” Well, I dunno about bears (IME they mostly • on the runway in Kake Alaska) but medevac pilots definitely • in the woods.

#2 (heh). I’m up in Anchorage for my medical (no local dude in juneau). I chow down on a pizza at silver gulch in the airport prior to hopping on the milk run home. Well, approximately the time we start engines in Cordova, my gut sounds a red alert that something in that pizza did not agree with it. I hold on with superhuman effort until the 10k chime, and then VFR direct to the aft lav. I’m back one more time on the what…40 minute flight? And again on the hop from Yakutat to Juneau.
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I've had the flight nurse rummage through my flight bag at 4000ft departing Nashville looking for my emergency Pepto tablets. They held me together for our 45 minute flight back to base where I promptly destroyed the crew bathroom. Not a good feeling. I knew I should have gone before we left but I didn't want to delay departure.
 
tlove482 said:
I've had the flight nurse rummage through my flight bag at 4000ft departing Nashville looking for my emergency Pepto tablets. They held me together for our 45 minute flight back to base where I promptly destroyed the crew bathroom. Not a good feeling. I knew I should have gone before we left but I didn't want to delay departure.
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I did my bubble-guts over Texas this morning, reminding me that Atlanta catering is not always a good deal. Fortunately it was brief and high velocity and accommodated during “normal” lav break time. Next time I may choose starvation over breakfast, heh.

It’s rare, but every time I hate it.
 
I have had it strike over Southern Oregon in the SAAB. It's tough for a guy my size to use the lav in the SAAB.
 
Autothrust Blue said:
I did my bubble-guts over Texas this morning, reminding me that Atlanta catering is not always a good deal. Fortunately it was brief and high velocity and accommodated during “normal” lav break time. Next time I may choose starvation over breakfast, heh.

It’s rare, but every time I hate it.
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Using the lav mid flight while operating is sheer joy when there is no one to complain about me being an “adventurous” eater in India or some other ethnic locale. I never hesitate to go and always remember to make a “poo canoe.”
 
Avalon781ML said:
Using the lav mid flight while operating is sheer joy when there is no one to complain about me being an “adventurous” eater in India or some other ethnic locale. I never hesitate to go and always remember to make a “poo canoe.”
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We call it a sled. But it is crucial step.
 
SteveC said:
Also, be forewarned that any attempt to explain it will result in a 5-day timeout. A clear abuse of Moderator power. Deservedly so.
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You know, I’ve never been suspended, and I feel like it might actually be an add to my resume at this point.
 
We were in the middle of a 4 hr helo flight. About 3 hours in I really needed to empty my bladder but there’s no lav in a helo.

One of the pilots grabbed a ziplock bag out of his flight bag and handed it to me. Relief as I emptied my bladder into the ziplock. Now that business was done I didn’t know what to do with the golden liquid filled ziplock. Seeing my predicament, the crewchief opened the hell hole in the middle of the cabin and pointed…. I held the bag over the hole, released it and letting it fall into the Pacific Ocean.

Emergency over.
 
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