And go

[A1TAPE]

 

[BobDispatch]

acars from crew when plane reaches top of climb: “I SEE THE PAPERWORK SAYS CALL DISPATCH…WHATS UP…”

 

[Flagship_dxer]

acars from crew when plane reaches top of climb: “I SEE THE PAPERWORK SAYS CALL DISPATCH…WHATS UP…”

Thats a dispatcher fail. If a dispatcher needs to talk to the captain then lock out the release to prevent crew from pulling it or dont send out the release. Both will force a call from the captain.

 

[Htown19]

Captain: “hey can I get another 2000lbs of fuel?”
Dispatch: “we’re already weight restricted”
Captain: “I don’t care I want the fuel”

15 minutes later….

Captain: “hey can we do something to get these people on?”

 

[A1TAPE]

Why do we have (insert gas, ALTN, other unusual addition)?

Did you READ the remarks?

 

[DispatcherSam]

On a transcon with a carefully planned route to avoid weather/headwinds/The Abominable Snowman/etc… and remarks saying so…
At level off, they get direct to their STAR transition, 3000 miles away.

Acars after the fact: How does direct XXXXX look for fuel/time?

 

[retrodx]

“Oh, so do you work in the tower for traffic control?”

 

[gopherdx]

On a transcon with a carefully planned route to avoid weather/headwinds/The Abominable Snowman/etc… and remarks saying so…
At level off, they get direct to their STAR transition, 3000 miles away.

Acars after the fact: How does direct XXXXX look for fuel/time?

At least they asked before accepting a direct nose into the jet

 

[autosave36]

"Hey we're a bit heavier than originally planned... any chance I can get a little more weight?"
"sure, what's your zfw"
"Welll, I took 36 extra bags, we have 8 non revvers, a jumpseating captain, a transiting alpaca, and lance bass."
"Right what's the zfw?"

Just answer the question you are asked, folks.

 

[bbmikej]

For the ERJ135

"Hey, we have a full load and I told this pilot he could jumpseat. Why can't we fit him on?"

If you never did the 135: If you have a full load with a jumpseater, the only way to pull the CG back into compliance would be to overload the cargo compartment.

 

[who'swho]

Asking for info about the flight they plan on jump seating on next... ETA, loads, etc. I'm not the travel department.

 

[who'swho]

"Hey we're a bit heavier than originally planned... any chance I can get a little more weight?"
"sure, what's your zfw"
"Welll, I took 36 extra bags, we have 8 non revvers, a jumpseating captain, a transiting alpaca, and lance bass."
"Right what's the zfw?"

Just answer the question you are asked, folks.

So their employee number isn't helpful?

 

[DispatcherSam]

At least they asked before accepting a direct nose into the jet

No they take the direct and then ask if its cool

 

[757Geek]

Captain: “Hey, saw we have a delay, what’s up?”
Me: “EWR is in a GDP.”
Captain: “But it’s 10 and clear!”
Me: “I know, don’t know what to tell you other then it’s just a normal day.”
Captain: “Ok. Well any chance we could get an on-time departure or leave early?”

 

[form810]

Dispatch: kinda like the auto da fey... what you oughtent to do, but you do anyway!

View: https://youtu.be/LnF1OtP2Svk&t=33

 

[ScarletnCreamDX]

Can't lock out a release with some software unfortunately! I wish!

 

[Wonderlic]

“ATC says EFC 3 hours from now. We’re going to self divert and land at our alternate with 2.5 hours fuel remaining.”

 

[bbmikej]

“ATC says EFC 3 hours from now. We’re going to self divert and land at our alternate with 2.5 hours fuel remaining.”

And then 20 minutes after they divert ATC opens it back up

 

[Burrito]

"I've been calling for the last thirty minutes and can't get ahold of anyone in Tech OPS, can you transfer me over there?"

 

[OttoPilot13]

Can we get a takeoff alternate?...Yeah I have one on there for you. ***looks at remarks*** "Takeoff alternate of _ _ _ _ added"