Boris Badenov
Fortis Leader
I let them talk me in to trying this so I would get home earlier. My God, I had no idea. How do people live like this? It’s like an exaggerated parody of the horrors of airline travel. The baggage drop line is around the block, naturally. No one has the most basic common sense. I’d estimate that a full 1/2 of the people wind up in secondary screening. Like there’s a LINE.
Two gate changes later and an hour behind schedule, tempers are getting even more frayed than their not-exactly-tightly wound starting points. People are bumping in to each other and NOT apologizing. Toddlers are beginning to scream in that special key that means they’re not going to shut up until they go to sleep. A few of the more on-edge looking characters are starting to have visible facial tics and glancing briefly but longingly towards the emergency exits. There’s an overall sense in the air that The Edge is noticeably closer than even just your normal, nightmarish LCC experience, or just ten minutes ago. You feel like when the first person stumbles in to someone, doesn’t apologize, and gets shoved in return, there’s a small but non-zero chance that the entire gate will just erupt in to a free for all/riot.
And right at this inflection point, the gate agent saves us all. We are boarding. Hordes of cow-like, dead-eyed, soulless morons file past. I go down and take my seat next to a guy I would estimate at about 6’4 and 280lbs. Who is listening to his music, yes, through earphones but at a volume thoughtfully turned up so we can all enjoy. He is only taking up about 1/3 of my seat though, which leaves an extremely adequate 2/3rds for me. Oh wait, they’re closing the door, only an hour and a half late!
Haha just kidding the ground staff went off to park another plane. They’ll “probably” be back in about 30 minutes to finish loading our bags. Then they’ll Marshall us out! Maybe.
Two gate changes later and an hour behind schedule, tempers are getting even more frayed than their not-exactly-tightly wound starting points. People are bumping in to each other and NOT apologizing. Toddlers are beginning to scream in that special key that means they’re not going to shut up until they go to sleep. A few of the more on-edge looking characters are starting to have visible facial tics and glancing briefly but longingly towards the emergency exits. There’s an overall sense in the air that The Edge is noticeably closer than even just your normal, nightmarish LCC experience, or just ten minutes ago. You feel like when the first person stumbles in to someone, doesn’t apologize, and gets shoved in return, there’s a small but non-zero chance that the entire gate will just erupt in to a free for all/riot.
And right at this inflection point, the gate agent saves us all. We are boarding. Hordes of cow-like, dead-eyed, soulless morons file past. I go down and take my seat next to a guy I would estimate at about 6’4 and 280lbs. Who is listening to his music, yes, through earphones but at a volume thoughtfully turned up so we can all enjoy. He is only taking up about 1/3 of my seat though, which leaves an extremely adequate 2/3rds for me. Oh wait, they’re closing the door, only an hour and a half late!
Haha just kidding the ground staff went off to park another plane. They’ll “probably” be back in about 30 minutes to finish loading our bags. Then they’ll Marshall us out! Maybe.
