Well there is another big reason that regionals are doing the bonus instead of just higher rates.  If you raise the rates then somebody is either going to be making way more or way less than the bonus model.  Take Endeavor's $23,000 retention pay.  If you divide that by minimum guarantee it comes out to $25.50 an hour extra.  The problem is that means that someone who flies all the time or picks up trips and credits 110 hours a month is getting paid $822 more than they would with the bonus.  Multiply by half of the pilots and you've got an expensive pay package.  However, if they say they're going to base the rates on a higher number of hours - say 85 hours a month - then the junior people who are actually making min guarantee get less.  So you just lost your recruiting tool which was the whole point of the pay in the first place.
		
		
	 
I agree with everything up until this:
	
		
	
	
		
		
			The bonus is definitely not ideal but it is a very fair way to distribute the cash.
		
		
	 
I suspect the pilots on property that are not eligible for these hiring and retention bonuses don't hold this opinion.
	
		
	
	
		
		
			You're not being an ass, just slightly pedantic.
		
		
	 
Yes, that tends to happen when I've had a few and can't sleep 
 
	
		
	
	
		
		
			I think you guys are talking about the same thing.
		
		
	 
Possibly, but I'll add a little anecdotal observation just for funsies. 
I use bonus programs to incentivize people to work outside the realm of what would simply be considered "acceptable."  Yes, as long as they show up on time, do the job outlined in their job description to the best of their ability and conduct themselves in a professional and trustworthy manner they will receive their base pay every other week.  I use bonuses to get them to go that extra mile or two.  Along with health benefits, vacation, sick and holiday pay the bonuses make up a compensation plan inclusive of a base pay rate, a rate that can often times be held below what the market is paying because the entire comp package looks really good. 
Put another way, pay rates are calculated into my direct operating cost i.e. overhead.  I have to pay that out regardless of how the company performs.  Bonuses are contingent on profitability, I don't have to pay them unless we exceed our performance expectations.  Slightly different than the recruiting tool we're seeing at the regionals, but I'm simply trying to flesh out the difference in meanings.  If I can get you to work for me for $5 an hour less because I promise you a nice payout if we beat our budget (which already has my salary worked into it) I'm a very happy camper because my overhead is lower and you're going to work harder to get that sweet profit sharing check. (I get one too)
Anyway, enough of my pendanticalness, just trying to raise a little awareness about the difference between the terms with how I see these things manipulated in my own industry.
*I'll also add that in the current hiring market, pay rates continue to climb.  So forget the pilot shenanigans and go to a trade school.  With a good work ethic and little common sense you'll be making 6 figures, debt free, in less than 10 years.  The labor pool is shrinking, at least it is here in the Mid-A, since nobody seems to want to actually work for a living any more.