Cockpit Boredom and Layovers

I read the QRH and QRC on long flights. I even dig deep into the AFM and once I dove into the FMS manual. On long turns I update my Jepps. On overnights I do my CBTs and study for recurrent that's 364 days away, because nothing will change before then.

No alcohol 1 day prior, during, or 18 hours after a trip. I talk SOP during cruise. I have ideas about what's good and what can be fixed. If the FO and I agree on things that can be fixed, we both fill out the form in the front of the SOP and mail/fax it in at earliest convenience to the appropriate address.

If there's absolutely nothing to talk about and I've been in the SOP/FOM/QRH/QRC for too long during cruise, I start to to clean the fingerprints off screens. When that's done I'll start picking up all the long pieces of hair stuck on the radio knobs and throwing them away. After the hair is gone I get the chunks of food cleaned up. If all this is done and we still haven't briefed the descent/arrival/taxi-in/deplaning/walk to the hotel van, then I need to rethink my bid to avoid such long flights.

Good enough for an editorial?

Tall Doug? Did you change your screen name?
 
I read the QRH and QRC on long flights. I even dig deep into the AFM and once I dove into the FMS manual. On long turns I update my Jepps. On overnights I do my CBTs and study for recurrent that's 364 days away, because nothing will change before then.

No alcohol 1 day prior, during, or 18 hours after a trip. I talk SOP during cruise. I have ideas about what's good and what can be fixed. If the FO and I agree on things that can be fixed, we both fill out the form in the front of the SOP and mail/fax it in at earliest convenience to the appropriate address.

If there's absolutely nothing to talk about and I've been in the SOP/FOM/QRH/QRC for too long during cruise, I start to to clean the fingerprints off screens. When that's done I'll start picking up all the long pieces of hair stuck on the radio knobs and throwing them away. After the hair is gone I get the chunks of food cleaned up. If all this is done and we still haven't briefed the descent/arrival/taxi-in/deplaning/walk to the hotel van, then I need to rethink my bid to avoid such long flights.

Good enough for an editorial?

lol, this is fantastic. Will definitely publish.
 
I'm taller than Doug but shorter than Doug. I weigh as much as them combined, probably. And unlike both of them, I am actually cool to fly with ;)

I haven't run into tall Doug in a while. Guess I need to head to MSP more often. Or he needs to go through ORD more often.

So you're between 5'9 (doc says 5'10) and 7'5 then!
 
So you're between 5'9 (doc says 5'10) and 7'5 then!
Yup! With a dark/light skin complexion. Blond/brown/blackish hair. Sometimes I wear a hat and blazer, sometimes not. I'm easy to spot!

(I can't remember. Is he 7'5 with the hat, or without?)
 
I read the QRH and QRC on long flights. I even dig deep into the AFM and once I dove into the FMS manual. On long turns I update my Jepps. On overnights I do my CBTs and study for recurrent that's 364 days away, because nothing will change before then.

No alcohol 1 day prior, during, or 18 hours after a trip. I talk SOP during cruise. I have ideas about what's good and what can be fixed. If the FO and I agree on things that can be fixed, we both fill out the form in the front of the SOP and mail/fax it in at earliest convenience to the appropriate address.

If there's absolutely nothing to talk about and I've been in the SOP/FOM/QRH/QRC for too long during cruise, I start to to clean the fingerprints off screens. When that's done I'll start picking up all the long pieces of hair stuck on the radio knobs and throwing them away. After the hair is gone I get the chunks of food cleaned up. If all this is done and we still haven't briefed the descent/arrival/taxi-in/deplaning/walk to the hotel van, then I need to rethink my bid to avoid such long flights.

Good enough for an editorial?

Dude it sounds like we have a lot in common. We should fly together sometime.


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I read the QRH and QRC on long flights. I even dig deep into the AFM and once I dove into the FMS manual. On long turns I update my Jepps. On overnights I do my CBTs and study for recurrent that's 364 days away, because nothing will change before then.

No alcohol 1 day prior, during, or 18 hours after a trip. I talk SOP during cruise. I have ideas about what's good and what can be fixed. If the FO and I agree on things that can be fixed, we both fill out the form in the front of the SOP and mail/fax it in at earliest convenience to the appropriate address.

If there's absolutely nothing to talk about and I've been in the SOP/FOM/QRH/QRC for too long during cruise, I start to to clean the fingerprints off screens. When that's done I'll start picking up all the long pieces of hair stuck on the radio knobs and throwing them away. After the hair is gone I get the chunks of food cleaned up. If all this is done and we still haven't briefed the descent/arrival/taxi-in/deplaning/walk to the hotel van, then I need to rethink my bid to avoid such long flights.

Good enough for an editorial?
Laughed so hard I spat coffee out.

Don't forget to get a discussion of the sexual proclivities of the flight attendants on the CVR. (SJI 1141...)
 
He's 7'hat”

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I've been slouching a bit of late. I should probably stop that.

I'm taller than Doug but shorter than Doug. I weigh as much as them combined, probably. And unlike both of them, I am actually cool to fly with ;)

I haven't run into tall Doug in a while. Guess I need to head to MSP more often. Or he needs to go through ORD more often.
Bleh. I hate O'Hare. Midway is fun, though, when they let me down that way. I even like Detroit although I have avoided de-icing there thus far.

Looks like next month will be a sea of deadheads to Atlanta. (If they opened it as a base, I could be convinced to go down there as a supervisory pilot, not unlike my feelings about Detroit.)
 
I was jumpseating SDF-BFI on Tuesday and me and the F/O spent about 20 minutes trying to figure out what VOR's broadcast HIWAS. That's bored....
 
I was jumpseating SDF-BFI on Tuesday and me and the F/O spent about 20 minutes trying to figure out what VOR's broadcast HIWAS. That's bored....
It is. But...

Have you tried to figure out how many miles separate all the small towns in the Kansas/Nebraska/Wyoming/insert fly-over-state and then wondered if it's because that's how far a person on a horse could comfortably travel in a day?
 
It is. But...

Have you tried to figure out how many miles separate all the small towns in the Kansas/Nebraska/Wyoming/insert fly-over-state and then wondered if it's because that's how far a person on a horse could comfortably travel in a day?
This is what E-jet pilots really do. Can confirm.

I was jumpseating SDF-BFI on Tuesday and me and the F/O spent about 20 minutes trying to figure out what VOR's broadcast HIWAS. That's bored....
Mmmm, in-cockpit convective hazard information would be glorious, wouldn't it?

Right, @Derg?
 
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