I have been in two separate squadrons that both were involved in frat incidents on combat deployments: one during Shock And Awe in Iraq in '03 (type 3 control from a US TACP) and another in Afghanistan in 2007 (type 1 control from a UK Royal Marine unit).
In both incidents, the Squadron Weapons Officer (the chief instructor and tactician in the squadron, a USAF Fighter Weapons School graduate) was the flight lead and the one whose weapons fratted.
Having watched the tapes of both incidents, I can say that in both cases I very likely would have done exactly the same thing if I were in their shoes, given the information they were presented with and how events unfolded prior to weapons release.
In the 2003 incident, an ATACMS was attacked when it was mis-identified visually by a ground party as a SAM (it was shooting south, which was an odd direction for a FSCL that was located to the north). Its location pretty closely matched the ELINT hit that the RIVET JOINT had on an active SAM in the area, *and* the ATACMS had moved into a position that had not yet been passed to Battalion.
In the 2007 incident, the Royal Marine group in the TIC passed their own location in the 9-line. The WSO caught it, and read it back to clarify, the the JTAC reiterated the same coords (again, their position) in response. The friendlies and hostiles were located in two compounds among several that all looked visually similar from altitude, and there were no attempts to visually mark friendlies with a beacon, sparkle, VS-17, etc.
In all of these, in hindsight and knowing the facts, you can see where the train jumped the tracks, but obviously the guys in the thick of it didn't have key information they needed.
So in my experience, it is definitely not cut-and-dried, even when adhering to JFIRE and 3-09.3 as best possible in "the fog of war".