How to Annoy your First Officer

PropDriver said:
I haven't flown with a guy/girl like this in a while. When I do, whenever the airplane turns, I turn the heading bug five degrees off the new heading. Every. Single. Time. Then I sit there and watch him/her squirm in the seat until he/she can't take it anymore and syncs it up.

You'd think they'd have me figured out after four days, but no.
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Have you ever played the dim the PFD game? Just dim the PFD a little bit more than the captain, until no one can actually see the PFD anymore. It was my fave at my last job.
 
PropDriver said:
I haven't flown with a guy/girl like this in a while. When I do, whenever the airplane turns, I turn the heading bug five degrees off the new heading. Every. Single. Time. Then I sit there and watch him/her squirm in the seat until he/she can't take it anymore and syncs it up.

You'd think they'd have me figured out after four days, but no.
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You're just asking for a crash axe to the skull, aren't you? :)
 
Derg said:
That's precisely it. The idea is that flying the jet is the easy part. Get it on the ground. The hard part, at least i n the passenger airline business, is coordinating all of the moving parts and making operational decisions.

"Get us back to the longest runway, tell me what you need, kill it Holmes" — I almost got tired of barking that out during training! :)

Sadly, the vernacular of @jtrain609 tends to pop out during primacy.
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You're turning into such a captain :)
 
Starting this thread pretty much sums up my contribution on how to annoy an F/O. That and, "Hey did you pick up the paperwork and crew meals ?"
 
pierre said:
Asking if you're ready to go when you are pm before every takeoff. We did the checklist and are on the runway. Does he think I'm gonna say no?
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Crap...I do this. I think it's habit. I guess I don't really think he/she will say no. I think a lot of CAs did it to me and I just said yes. Maybe I will scale this back.
 
pierre said:
Syncing the heading bug every 10 seconds.

Asking if you're ready to go when you are pm before every takeoff. We did the checklist and are on the runway. Does he think I'm gonna say no?
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I ask this, and most captains I fly with ask this. I'm not really asking the skipper if they're ready to takeoff, because it's obvious that we're on the runway and ready to go; it's a reality check that we've done everything we're supposed to do.

A few guys at my last company tried to takeoff on one engine because they rushed through some flows and checklists while they were fatigued out of their mind. A final sanity check isn't a bad thing in my view.

I should also add that when I do this, I'm looking around the cockpit to make sure we haven't forgotten anything obvious. Flaps, trim, both engines running, etc.
 
Getting on the brakes before controls transferred fully or always taking control at relatively high speeds. The first ca I had that told me I had the controls until I was ready to transfer them to him I realized I didn't really know how to bring the speed down to taxi speed because no one had let me do it before
 
jtrain609 said:
I ask this, and most captains I fly with ask this. I'm not really asking the skipper if they're ready to takeoff, because it's obvious that we're on the runway and ready to go; it's a reality check that we've done everything we're supposed to do.

A few guys at my last company tried to takeoff on one engine because they rushed through some flows and checklists while they were fatigued out of their mind. A final sanity check isn't a bad thing in my view.

I should also add that when I do this, I'm looking around the cockpit to make sure we haven't forgotten anything obvious. Flaps, trim, both engines running, etc.
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I do it too. Something like "brakes, trim, flaps, autofeather, condition levers, no MAP lights, ready to fly? ¡Vamanos!" It takes about 1, maybe 2 seconds.
 
These are all excellent points. Let's keep in mind, however, that this is a two-way street. Maybe the subject of a new thread...

(Newly christened A320 Captain)
 
Toobdrvr said:
These are all excellent points. Let's keep in mind, however, that this is a two-way street. Maybe the subject of a new thread...

(Newly christened A320 Captain)
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I'm well versed in the only 3 things I need to say to the CA: "Clear right", "You're right", and "I'll take the fat one".

I'm also familiar with what belongs to me in the flight deck. I just close my eyes, and that's what's mine. When I open them up, everything I see is yours.
 
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