To all CFI's: Stupidest student questions.

Dont know if I posted this before, but when I was a student on a night flight my good 'ol boy CFI made me call in a pilot report, there was no weather so I didn't know what to say so my CFI told me I had to report that it was dark out...I did... the FSS guy busted out laughing over the radio, "uhhhh yeah, that tends to happen on this side of the world at this time of the day".
 
MEMS-read about em.
"A witch, a witch!"
Monty-Python-and-the-Holy-Grail-19751.jpg
 
Dont know if I posted this before, but when I was a student on a night flight my good 'ol boy CFI made me call in a pilot report, there was no weather so I didn't know what to say so my CFI told me I had to report that it was dark out...I did... the FSS guy busted out laughing over the radio, "uhhhh yeah, that tends to happen on this side of the world at this time of the day".

I am so doing this on my next flight.
 
Flying back from the practice area with a student after his 3rd or so flight. There were some contrails high in the sky above us and I made some remark about them. My student, dead serious "You know what those are?" Me "Contrails" Student "Nope, those are Chemtrails, airliners are spraying out chemicals for mind control"

Oh boy, conspiracy theorist. He actually ended up being a great student
 
Ever have a bad lunch, and at 4,000ft you let one rip over a farm field in the middle of who knows where, and your student says "Man, those cows sure are gassy today" to which I reply with "yep... man those cows are lettin' 'em rip at 4,000ft..." with a clueless student...
 
Flying back from the practice area with a student after his 3rd or so flight. There were some contrails high in the sky above us and I made some remark about them. My student, dead serious "You know what those are?" Me "Contrails" Student "Nope, those are Chemtrails, airliners are spraying out chemicals for mind control"

Oh boy, conspiracy theorist. He actually ended up being a great student
I had a pretty brand new student look up and ask "So you know how people talk about Chemtrails? What are those?"

My reaction was somewhere between "Oh boy, here it comes." to "Well at least I can tell them and maybe they'll believe there's no poisonous government conspiracy."
 
Ever have a bad lunch, and at 4,000ft you let one rip over a farm field in the middle of who knows where, and your student says "Man, those cows sure are gassy today" to which I reply with "yep... man those cows are lettin' 'em rip at 4,000ft..." with a clueless student...

That is nasty.
 
Ever have a bad lunch, and at 4,000ft you let one rip over a farm field in the middle of who knows where, and your student says "Man, those cows sure are gassy today" to which I reply with "yep... man those cows are lettin' 'em rip at 4,000ft..." with a clueless student...

:bounce:
 
o_O How did they respond when you told them the bad news?

He showed late. Has a C195 and didn't know how to use the G430. So everytime he pulled his airplane out everyone wants to • and talk about how cool his airplane is. I told him we needed to get going but he ignored me. When I billed him 50 an hour for the entire time I was there he got upset. I had gone over this with him before I drove out to the airport. He hasn't called me again. The C195 is cool and all but I would rather go surfing or mountain biking.
 
He showed late. Has a C195 and didn't know how to use the G430. So everytime he pulled his airplane out everyone wants to and talk about how cool his airplane is. I told him we needed to get going but he ignored me. When I billed him 50 an hour for the entire time I was there he got upset. I had gone over this with him before I drove out to the airport. He hasn't called me again. The C195 is cool and all but I would rather go surfing or mountain biking.

You have to stand up for yourself. You're a professional and need to be paid and treated as such. I'd have done the same thing after a couple of warnings...Time is money and the time you are their with him blabbing away is time you could be selling to someone else or relaxing.
 
I brain farted on "Kilo" once and just told the tower I had information "Uhh, uh, uh....Kitty Cat".

I had an instructor who would make up his own word for each letter.... We once had information "Yee-haw!"


Also, I did a rental check-out with a guy who kept referring to our airplane as 492-Sierra-Frank. Tower kept replying with Foxtrot, and he kept replying with Frank. It was hilarious.

One of my students was a 16-year old female, who would show up to a lesson wearing shorts and a tank top, but then upon getting in the airplane would put on some olive-drab Nomex gloves.
 
He showed late. Has a C195 and didn't know how to use the G430. So everytime he pulled his airplane out everyone wants to and talk about how cool his airplane is. I told him we needed to get going but he ignored me. When I billed him 50 an hour for the entire time I was there he got upset. I had gone over this with him before I drove out to the airport. He hasn't called me again. The C195 is cool and all but I would rather go surfing or mountain biking.

Had a guy like that. First called about 30 minutes before I needed to be at the airport to push the flight back an hour. Then didn't show for an hour after when he told me he'd be there. I didn't charge him for the first hour (he did call) but I did charge for the second. He was irritated about that.

One of my students was a 16-year old female, who would show up to a lesson wearing shorts and a tank top, but then upon getting in the airplane would put on some olive-drab Nomex gloves.

When I was training for CFI, the flight school had a study/lounge area that had a glass wall facing the ramp. One of the parking spots was right next to the building (which faced west) with the plane parked on the north edge of the ramp (so facing south). A group of us were sitting in this room while another instructor was teaching an attractive young lady wearing some short shorts how to preflight a 172. When they got to the part of checking the fuel level, the young lady climbed up on the step, and the instructor popped his head up, apparently, looking right at her backside. We had to give him grief about that one.
 
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