What Are Your Peeves and Problems as a Dispatcher?

When a pilot whines that MX is taking longer to fix the plane and wants to know why they can't change planes....
 
The worst things about being a dispatcher?

The cross-room political death match arguments you are forced to listen to with far too much frequency - I love the open layout of an SOC but damn what I wouldn't give for a cube some days.

Also when you've really got to go to the bathroom and things start going wrong so you can't leave you desk because NOBODY is gonna watch your desk when you have a medical call on the line and a diversion on the radio. THAT'S the worst (crappiest?). One of these days I'm gonna bolt up from my desk and yell at the guy next to me "The desk is yours! I've gotta GO!" as I run out the door. Come to think of it maybe a cube would help with this issue as well... ;)
 
Thought of another peeve. Totally not pilot related.

Ive been working with my current company for over a year. Im an old granny that needs glasses when she sits at the computer or reads anything small. Yet every single day, someone in my office looks over and says "Betty, I didnt know you wore glasses!" ........really? I wear them EVERY SINGLE DAY!

The other annoying thing... People removing the notes I have taped to the bottom of the monitors that specifically say DO NOT REMOVE. Im the overnight dispatch troll, with flights often landing after 1 am central time. I release all of our late night westbound flights....yyc, yxe, yeg,boi, mso, hln. bzn, yvr, bil, etc. Some of our alternate stations can be difficult, if not impossible to reach in the middle of the night if we need to divert unexpectedly. So I have contact information for the towers and station supervisor cell phones as well as dial-up frequencies for Canada tacked up in the cubicle. Im one of 4 people who rotate in and out of that desk through the week. No one will own up to it but we ahve one person who apparantly REALLY doesnt like having anything on the desk....they remove EVERYTHING except for the monitors and phone....they even take the pen holder off of the desk and remove the speed dial list that we keep taped next to the phones. Despite notes asking that they NOT remove my contacts, this mystery person always throws them away and I have to go drag out my binders to find them.

This same person also shuts the computer all the way down rather than restarting it....we have so much security software it takes half an hour to boot the computer back up! Not good when your first release is due 10 mintes after the start of your shift!

Sometimes our biggest peeves dont come from pilots!
 
When a pilot whines that MX is taking longer to fix the plane and wants to know why they can't change planes....

Or they get mad because they have a tail swap in base and want to keep their airplane for convenience and you cant do it. Them: "But we only have a 50 minute tuuuu-uuurn!" Me: "Sorry, that plane is routed to the MX hanger in SDF for a heavy check." THem: "But we've been flying for 2 hours and we want to get foooood!" Me: "Well, Ive been sitting at my desk for 6 hours...still cant swap it." Them: "Can I talk to the Chief Pilot?" Me:He's not going to cancel a heavy check just because you want to go to Taco Bell. "Them: "Then can we get crew meals?" Me: "You've been on duty 3 hours. The Mothership wont authorize it." Them:" Well then we're going to take a delay so we can get food."

Funny, when I was an FA, we didnt have crew meals and if we delayed a flight for food, we got hauled into the Chief Pilot/Inflight Supervisor. our "crew meals" were leftover first class food or the contents of our lunch bag. My how times have changed...
 
Or they get mad because they have a tail swap in base and want to keep their airplane for convenience and you cant do it. Them: "But we only have a 50 minute tuuuu-uuurn!" Me: "Sorry, that plane is routed to the MX hanger in SDF for a heavy check." THem: "But we've been flying for 2 hours and we want to get foooood!" Me: "Well, Ive been sitting at my desk for 6 hours...still cant swap it." Them: "Can I talk to the Chief Pilot?" Me:He's not going to cancel a heavy check just because you want to go to Taco Bell. "Them: "Then can we get crew meals?" Me: "You've been on duty 3 hours. The Mothership wont authorize it." Them:" Well then we're going to take a delay so we can get food."
Laughter at "only" a fifty minute turn, unless there's also a plane swap, in which case I'm not laughing anymore. Cool kids detail one pilot do do the work and one pilot to go upstairs and procure nourishment and caffeine.

If I'm hungry, Dispatch Betty, I'm going to go eat. Usually (99.99% of the time) I am pretty responsible about it, sometimes I just don't have a choice...like when an extra turn has just been tacked onto a full day that started before breakfast on day four and my cooler bag is empty. If I don't have any cookies in hand, tough cookies: running on empty is like flying fatigued--it's an unsafe practice and not something I'll be doing.

Funny, when I was an FA, we didnt have crew meals and if we delayed a flight for food, we got hauled into the Chief Pilot/Inflight Supervisor. our "crew meals" were leftover first class food or the contents of our lunch bag. My how times have changed...
Our Canadair guys can (and do) make oatmeal on board now when they have a tight turn. I'm sort of jealous of them on that front.

Schedule does not come before safety. Not an argument to be lazy, but if you don't eat, you're not safe, and if you don't get there safely, there's just no point in getting there. Be responsible and be safe.


Sent from Seat 3D
 
At my last airline, the night shifter was responsible for the final desk allocation of the flights. Thus if you POd the midnight guy amazingly all the NY flights and cr**py weather areas all managed to "be allocated" on a particular desk. Amazing how that works.

Some software allows you to send out messages days in the future. Somehow messages where sent to peoples phones in the middle of the night and they couldnt be traced back.

There are ways of getting back at individuals but I will neither deny nor confirm any of it.

karma.jpg
 
F9DXER said:
At my last airline, the night shifter was responsible for the final desk allocation of the flights. Thus if you POd the midnight guy amazingly all the NY flights and cr**py weather areas all managed to "be allocated" on a particular desk. Amazing how that works.

Some software allows you to send out messages days in the future. Somehow messages where sent to peoples phones in the middle of the night and they couldnt be traced back.

There are ways of getting back at individuals but I will neither deny nor confirm any of it.

I don't want to meet Karma... Lol
 
Or they get mad because they have a tail swap in base and want to keep their airplane for convenience and you cant do it. Them: "But we only have a 50 minute tuuuu-uuurn!" Me: "Sorry, that plane is routed to the MX hanger in SDF for a heavy check." THem: "But we've been flying for 2 hours and we want to get foooood!" Me: "Well, Ive been sitting at my desk for 6 hours...still cant swap it." Them: "Can I talk to the Chief Pilot?" Me:He's not going to cancel a heavy check just because you want to go to Taco Bell. "Them: "Then can we get crew meals?" Me: "You've been on duty 3 hours. The Mothership wont authorize it." Them:" Well then we're going to take a delay so we can get food."

Funny, when I was an FA, we didnt have crew meals and if we delayed a flight for food, we got hauled into the Chief Pilot/Inflight Supervisor. our "crew meals" were leftover first class food or the contents of our lunch bag. My how times have changed...

Arguing about plane swaps is something I rarely do anymore (unless the plane is broken) since all swaps are handled by the operations manager where I'm at now. At my last airline we would get daily "what plane am I flying today, where do I swap" calls and while I didn't mind them at the time, I really don't miss them at all either...
 
Arguing about plane swaps is something I rarely do anymore (unless the plane is broken) since all swaps are handled by the operations manager where I'm at now. At my last airline we would get daily "what plane am I flying today, where do I swap" calls and while I didn't mind them at the time, I really don't miss them at all either...

Our swaps are handled by the planner desk, but that still doesnt stop them from calling to yell at me. Our schedule operates pretty tightly so tail swaps are difficult anyway... you throw MX issues into the mix and its even harder. Unfortunately, I dont think our pilots understand this. Tail swap are possible...OCCASIONALLY..; but when we cant do it, oh boy, be prepared for a temper tantrum, even in situations where it is OBVIOUSLY something I cant change-such as an airplane being routed to a specific city for major scheduled MX. (Yes, I once had someone argue with me because they wanted to keep their plane but we needed it in SDF for a heavy check.)

Something I dont understand and I suppose I should ask someone sometime... At least once per day, Ill get an ACARS from a crew wanting to know if they are taking the same plane back in the morning. Is it because they are planning to leave personal belonging unattended on their airplane overnight? Seems like an easy way to get you stuff liberated. I dont get it
 
Our swaps are handled by the planner desk, but that still doesnt stop them from calling to yell at me. Our schedule operates pretty tightly so tail swaps are difficult anyway... you throw MX issues into the mix and its even harder. Unfortunately, I dont think our pilots understand this. Tail swap are possible...OCCASIONALLY..; but when we cant do it, oh boy, be prepared for a temper tantrum, even in situations where it is OBVIOUSLY something I cant change-such as an airplane being routed to a specific city for major scheduled MX. (Yes, I once had someone argue with me because they wanted to keep their plane but we needed it in SDF for a heavy check.)

Something I dont understand and I suppose I should ask someone sometime... At least once per day, Ill get an ACARS from a crew wanting to know if they are taking the same plane back in the morning. Is it because they are planning to leave personal belonging unattended on their airplane overnight? Seems like an easy way to get you stuff liberated. I dont get it
Sounds like RP? I'll say working ops I've had a couple tail swaps that had me going "huh?". All the more reason I HATE the blue tails!
 
Schedule does not come before safety. Not an argument to be lazy, but if you don't eat, you're not safe, and if you don't get there safely, there's just no point in getting there. Be responsible and be safe.


Sent from Seat 3D


I never suggested that schedule come before safety. Thats not the first time youve accused me of pilot pushing and I would appreciate it if you would kindly cram it!

The example I gave above is a true story...a crew that had been on duty exactly 3 hours, taking a meal delay because we couldnt swap them. We as dispatchers keep food at our desks because on abad day, we dont dont have the luxury of just abandoning post and going out to the breakroom. That particular day, my frozen dinner was 20 feet away and I hadnt been up from my desk in 6 hours, 3 of which Id had to PEE. Poop happens. Make like a boy scout and be prepared.
 
I never suggested that schedule come before safety. Thats not the first time youve accused me of pilot pushing and I would appreciate it if you would kindly cram it!

The example I gave above is a true story...a crew that had been on duty exactly 3 hours, taking a meal delay because we couldnt swap them. We as dispatchers keep food at our desks because on abad day, we dont dont have the luxury of just abandoning post and going out to the breakroom. That particular day, my frozen dinner was 20 feet away and I hadnt been up from my desk in 6 hours, 3 of which Id had to PEE. Poop happens. Make like a boy scout and be prepared.
When was their sign in?
 
When was their sign in?

3...hours...before I talked to them. I have full access to their schedules and scheduling sits right next to me. I know how long my crews have been on duty. it was a two hour flight flight and they were asking for a plane swap in flight. If they had been on duty 8 hours and were facing a 30 minute turn with a plane change I would have had no problem. They were mad because I "wouldnt" swap fro them....and its not even my job. This is the reason why pilots NEED to sit with DX or at least sit through a presentation....there is more to our jobs than just reading TAFs and making your lives miserable. (You guys seem to think "Pissing Pilots Off 101" is an elective course in DX school)
 
(You guys seem to think "Pissing Pilots Off 101" is an elective course in DX school)

I had one boss that seemed to think that "Pilot Ass Kissing 101" should be a required course in dispatch school. We didn't get along very well...he was a grounded former corporate pilot.

One note on requiring pilots to observe dispatch...it is a good idea in theory, but I have experienced it in practice, and it is a huge PITA to get every pilot at the company observation time. (At my previous airline we only did it with new hires - 2 hours required - and we all got sick of it.) I don't know what the answer is except to say that any interested pilot is always welcome to come observe - but I'd hate to see every pilot in the company be REQUIRED to come observe every year, due to the sheer number of pilots involved. It would be a logistical nightmare.
 
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