To all CFI's: Stupidest student questions.

Nicaraguanpilot said:
Had this conversation with another student:
Me: If lift is generated by greater pressure under the wing because of the shape of the wing, then how can planes fly upside down?
Student: (thinking hard) Uhhh... because when a plane is upside down the force of weight is inverted too and acts upward. Lift is inverted too, but since theres no lift being generated theres no downward force acting on the plane.
Me: ....Fascinating.

Gravity inversion was definitely not on the list of reasons I was thinking about. Im pretty sure he was 100% serious.
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I realize your student's answer was wrong and that there is a correct one.

What is it?
 
One of my favorite ones was when the controller asked one of my students, "Cessna 12345, say altitude." Without a second thought, he replied, "altitude!" I couldn't help but laugh...he didn't get why I was laughing until I explained. I thought this only happened in old aviation comic books.
 
Tristanstar said:
One of my favorite ones was when the controller asked one of my students, "Cessna 12345, say altitude." Without a second thought, he replied, "altitude!" I couldn't help but laugh...he didn't get why I was laughing until I explained. I thought this only happened in old aviation comic books.
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My old CFI's father flew for Braniff. The CFI related a variation of this story:

Controller: "Braniff XXX, say altitude."
Braniff: "Altitude!"
(pause from the tower) Controller: "Braniff XXX, say 'cancel IFR'"
Braniff "Seventeen thousand climbing for Twenty-eight"
Controller: "Thank you Braniff XXX. Anyone else wanna play?"
(silence for a few moments)
 
Not a CFI, but I have a kind of related story. On a first date, forget how the conversation got there, but telling her about the Bede used in the Bond movie, "You're crazy, people don't make airplanes." Then she simply proceeded to flip out.

Guess I'd forgotten that the aliens left all those Cessna's behind while they where building the pyramids and Machu Picchu.
 
inventor said:
Not a CFI, but I have a kind of related story. On a first date, forget how the conversation got there, but telling her about the Bede used in the Bond movie, "You're crazy, people don't make airplanes." Then she simply proceeded to flip out.

Guess I'd forgotten that the aliens left all those Cessna's behind while they where building the pyramids and Machu Picchu.
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Come again?
 
inventor said:
Not a CFI, but I have a kind of related story. On a first date, forget how the conversation got there, but telling her about the Bede used in the Bond movie, "You're crazy, people don't make airplanes." Then she simply proceeded to flip out.

Guess I'd forgotten that the aliens left all those Cessna's behind while they where building the pyramids and Machu Picchu.
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Good thing it only lasted one date...err I mean a half date.
 
Tower: Cherokee 96XXX you parking at (name of the flight school where the airplane is from)?
Student: Negative we're parking at the airport.
Tower: Roger where will you be parking once you are at the airport?
Student: (name of the flight school where the airplane is from).
Tower: Thought so.
 
Taxied by a BE-76 with both main tires blown that had pulled off the runway. I stopped my aircraft and picked up the student and the instructor to give them a ride back to the the flight school. Neither of them were real chatty so later I asked the IP what had happened. He told me the student (*on a commercial MEL checkride...) was doing a short field landing. After touching down, he floored the brakes and pushed the yoke full forward. Before the instructor could react, both mains blew. After coming to a stop, he asked the student about his..."procedure". The student explained he pushed the yoke forward to "maximize the nose wheel braking....". Oops
 
flyinawa said:
Taxied by a BE-76 with both main tires blown that had pulled off the runway. I stopped my aircraft and picked up the student and the instructor to give them a ride back to the the flight school. Neither of them were real chatty so later I asked the IP what had happened. He told me the student (*on a commercial MEL checkride...) was doing a short field landing. After touching down, he floored the brakes and pushed the yoke full forward. Before the instructor could react, both mains blew. After coming to a stop, he asked the student about his..."procedure". The student explained he pushed the yoke forward to "maximize the nose wheel braking....". Oops
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That's two stories about "nosewheel braking"....
 
I've had a few indian students who have supplied me with some funny stories...

With a presolo student...
Me: "Okay, I want you to turn the airplane to the left."
Student: Does nothing.
Me: "Please turn the airplane to the left."
Student: Looks at me, but does nothing.
Me: "Please turn the yoke to the left, and roll the airplane to the left, to begin a left hand turn."
Student: Nothing.
Me: Points to the left outside of the aircraft. "Please turn the aircraft in that direction." Mimicks rotation on the yoke.
Student: looks at me, my hands, looks to the left, nods in understanding, and proceeds to turn on map light and look back at me in pride.
Me: "Let's head back"

On a mock checkride...
After flying away from the airport under the hood, using the same heading the whole time and Mt Rainier looming in the window, I ask a student to remove her hood and tell me where we are.
Student: Looks at the mountain, then at me, then at the mountain, then at me. "I don't know"
Me: "Let's turn 180 degrees and see where we are then"
Student: Turns airplane around, Seattle is clearly visible in the window.
Me: "Alrighty, where are we now?"
Student: "I don't know"

Student on cross country flight planning...
I assign a student to fly From KBFI south on a route which would put her on a path to have to avoid some mountains. We all lived in the same apt complex, so one night she comes over...
Student: "I have one question for you on this flight plan."
Me: "Okay, what can I help you with?"
Student: "This flight you assigned me has me go directly through this mountain". She points to Mt Rainier on the chart. An obvious course pencil line drawn right through it.
Me: "And what is the problem?"
Student: "Am I supposed to go through this mountain?"
Me: "I think when it comes to mountains, you generally want to go around them."
 
flyinawa said:
Taxied by a BE-76 with both main tires blown that had pulled off the runway. I stopped my aircraft and picked up the student and the instructor to give them a ride back to the the flight school. Neither of them were real chatty so later I asked the IP what had happened. He told me the student (*on a commercial MEL checkride...) was doing a short field landing. After touching down, he floored the brakes and pushed the yoke full forward. Before the instructor could react, both mains blew. After coming to a stop, he asked the student about his..."procedure". The student explained he pushed the yoke forward to "maximize the nose wheel braking....". Oops
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So go ahead and call me a stupy dumb dumb face but.... why would taking weight off of the main wheels cause the tires to blow?
 
They most likely would lock up with the full application of brake pressure plus the forward elevator pressure taking the weight off the wheels.
 
pilot1278 said:
I've had a few indian students who have supplied me with some funny stories...

With a presolo student...
Me: "Okay, I want you to turn the airplane to the left."
Student: Does nothing.
Me: "Please turn the airplane to the left."
Student: Looks at me, but does nothing.
Me: "Please turn the yoke to the left, and roll the airplane to the left, to begin a left hand turn."
Student: Nothing.
Me: Points to the left outside of the aircraft. "Please turn the aircraft in that direction." Mimicks rotation on the yoke.
Student: looks at me, my hands, looks to the left, nods in understanding, and proceeds to turn on map light and look back at me in pride.
Me: "Let's head back"

On a mock checkride...
After flying away from the airport under the hood, using the same heading the whole time and Mt Rainier looming in the window, I ask a student to remove her hood and tell me where we are.
Student: Looks at the mountain, then at me, then at the mountain, then at me. "I don't know"
Me: "Let's turn 180 degrees and see where we are then"
Student: Turns airplane around, Seattle is clearly visible in the window.
Me: "Alrighty, where are we now?"
Student: "I don't know"

Student on cross country flight planning...
I assign a student to fly From KBFI south on a route which would put her on a path to have to avoid some mountains. We all lived in the same apt complex, so one night she comes over...
Student: "I have one question for you on this flight plan."
Me: "Okay, what can I help you with?"
Student: "This flight you assigned me has me go directly through this mountain". She points to Mt Rainier on the chart. An obvious course pencil line drawn right through it.
Me: "And what is the problem?"
Student: "Am I supposed to go through this mountain?"
Me: "I think when it comes to mountains, you generally want to go around them."
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Good response. I think I'd be tempted to say something else.
 
me to student:" turn right heading 090"
student grab the knob of the DG, and turn the miniature plane to 090"
i said" not this one, the big plane...":yup:

no kidding, I could not believe . I was a flight instructor only, ground was given by indies...
 
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