relationships and aviation

E_Dawg said:
Honest question here, how many pilots on here have had a relationship get screwed by your crap schedule, never being home, and never seeing your sig. other? Of those who succeed, how do you think you have been successful? While jumpseating and more often than not, the conversation seems to turn to how the captain has to work past 60 to pay for his first two wives.
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Your going to fly to 60 anyway..right?? You can't spend all that money while you are flying so why not go ahead and take your chance..I did!
 
Shoot, I was going to be free of the matrix at 53... *sigh*
 
Doug Taylor said:
Shoot, I was going to be free of the matrix at 53... *sigh*
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The old man counted on staying it out until 60, but working progressively less. :laff:

That said, my parents survived ~ 30 years of marriage, with the usual attendant changes in the industry (furlough, merger, merger, 9/11, bankruptcy)...so it's certainly possible. Not to say that there aren't rough times, but it's possible with the right level of communication and independence.
 
Amber hit it on the head. Its all about the people and their attitudes. From a guys perspective, your wife/significant other has to be independant but have a good attitude too. My wife and I are doing great with it.
 
For me it is career before anyone else. People come and go. I can never see myself giving up my dream to be with someone because she is against me going away a lot. WHEN our relationship gets stale I will be one very miserable person to have forsaken my goals for her.
 
ATPCHASER said:
For me it is career before anyone else. People come and go. I can never see myself giving up my dream to be with someone because she is against me going away a lot. WHEN our relationship gets stale I will be one very miserable person to have forsaken my goals for her.
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Some people will say your thinking is wrong. But I applaud you for sticking to your goals.
 
ATPCHASER said:
For me it is career before anyone else. People come and go. I can never see myself giving up my dream to be with someone because she is against me going away a lot. WHEN our relationship gets stale I will be one very miserable person to have forsaken my goals for her.
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Give up your goals for someone? Certainly not. However, I'd make time in your life to find someone you want to be with; someone who will work toward your goal with you.

I hate to tell ya, but this job won't fulfill you in life. I've always been very aggressive with career moves, to the point that I put everything else behind me, including relationships. Because of that, I've been able to do some cool stuff and fly one of my favorite airplanes I dreamt about growing up. I enjoy what I do, but I come home from my trips to an empty house. But hey, I fly a cool jet to far away places. That makes up for that, right? :dunno:

Make time. I'm still young and have plenty of time left, so I'm not fretting about it. I do not, however, want to be an old man sitting in a bar with nothing to talk about except for airplane stories.
 
dasleben said:
Give up your goals for someone? Certainly not. However, I'd make time in your life to find someone you want to be with; someone who will work toward your goal with you.

I hate to tell ya, but this job won't fulfill you in life. I've always been very aggressive with career moves, to the point that I put everything else behind me, including relationships. Because of that, I've been able to do some cool stuff and fly one of my favorite airplanes I dreamt about growing up. I enjoy what I do, but I come home from my trips to an empty house. But hey, I fly a cool jet to far away places. That makes up for that, right? :dunno:

Make time. I'm still young and have plenty of time left, so I'm not fretting about it. I do not, however, want to be an old man sitting in a bar with nothing to talk about except for airplane stories.
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That and this career will drop you like a bad habit. A relationship shouldn't, if you're doing it right.
 
dasleben said:
Give up your goals for someone? Certainly not. However, I'd make time in your life to find someone you want to be with; someone who will work toward your goal with you.

I hate to tell ya, but this job won't fulfill you in life. I've always been very aggressive with career moves, to the point that I put everything else behind me, including relationships. Because of that, I've been able to do some cool stuff and fly one of my favorite airplanes I dreamt about growing up. I enjoy what I do, but I come home from my trips to an empty house. But hey, I fly a cool jet to far away places. That makes up for that, right? :dunno:

Make time. I'm still young and have plenty of time left, so I'm not fretting about it. I do not, however, want to be an old man sitting in a bar with nothing to talk about except for airplane stories.
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Believe it or not, you just named one of my nightmares. :)
 
ATPCHASER said:
For me it is career before anyone else. People come and go. I can never see myself giving up my dream to be with someone because she is against me going away a lot. WHEN our relationship gets stale I will be one very miserable person to have forsaken my goals for her.
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Good on you if that's what you want. Just remember aviation, like everything else will turn into just another job at some point. A cool job? Hell yes! But a job. It's really nice to have a life outside of work that I can share with someone I care about. A life afforded to me by my cool job. I can always find a new job. I can't find someone to put up with my quirks and share this life with as easy. For me, if I thought my job was getting in the way of my realationship, I'd walk away in a heartbeat for one that would let me keep the people I care about in my life. People are what make life worth living, not posessions or coolness factor. Just my opinion though. Peace, Love and Hippies everyone.
 
Theres nothing like flying with a captain who is going through a divorce.... Mach .82 through continuous moderate chop....its...memorable
 
I've been married for 32 years to my pilot. We live, we laugh, we forgive and we forget (more so now! :) ). I have a busy career, so we've never chased metal and he has always commuted with the exception of his current base which is 75 minutes from home. He never complained and I never complained. I didn't go to the most high powered jobs I could get because I needed to have the freedom to be able to leave at 3 to take our son to Aikido, etc. But he always found a way to be involved, like super assistant ice hockey coach (gone most of the time but super helpful when present). We worked that out. It's all about communication. And I'm not talking about the kind when you're on the road. We talk little when he is on the road because either he is flying or sleeping or I am at work and too busy! It's usually just a check in. But when he is home we TALK. We care. We hold hands and tell each other what we like about each other. We love each other. Isn't that what it is all about?

Ladies should join us on Jetgirls!
 
Not aviation, but maritime, my parents have a strong relationship. My dad had a job where he would go to work for two weeks at a time. 90% of the time he is out of cell phone coverage, so we really have no way to get a hold of time. He also has served on Merchant Marine ships where he travelled the world. So I think it all depends on the couple.
 
I think it is safe to say that aviation and the scheduled and chaos it entails was a leading contributor to the failure of my almost seven year long relationship. Certainly I could have adjusted my priorities, however I was moving up in the world and put that before what we had together behind my career.
 
It is just a personal choice for me, to be honest. I respect people who are willing to settle down, get in a serious relatioship, get married etc. I found out, that is not for me. That is not the path that suits me. It doesn't necessarily mean I will end up old and alone but I rather live a very fulfilling life by keeping my options open, living drama free and having no one to miss when I am away. It is better that way for me.

Besides, women love pilots and there are many gorgeous ones around! Why just be with one? :P
 
dasleben said:
Give up your goals for someone? Certainly not. However, I'd make time in your life to find someone you want to be with; someone who will work toward your goal with you.

I hate to tell ya, but this job won't fulfill you in life. I've always been very aggressive with career moves, to the point that I put everything else behind me, including relationships. Because of that, I've been able to do some cool stuff and fly one of my favorite airplanes I dreamt about growing up. I enjoy what I do, but I come home from my trips to an empty house. But hey, I fly a cool jet to far away places. That makes up for that, right? :dunno:

Make time. I'm still young and have plenty of time left, so I'm not fretting about it. I do not, however, want to be an old man sitting in a bar with nothing to talk about except for airplane stories.
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Congrats on getting so far in your career at a young age. It obviously shows that you prioritized and knew what you were doing, together with some luck I am sure. I do not see why many people put so much emphasis on relationships, or why they feel as if they need to settle. If your life is perfect the way it is leave it alone. I respect your decision to get married one day though. To each his own.
 
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