Your biggest aviation pet peeves..

Amen to that. I guess I don't understand how hard it is to put a stupid little flashing light on the tail or something.


The first issue the FAA would have with that is it's not "government enough". No, instead it should be a cylindrical red light at least 3" in length, 2" in diameter, etc, etc. Then they would want to tell you how to use pi to help define what exactly a circle is so you can then later define what a cylinder is. But first they'd have to establish pi, which would mean a 5-year study using the best mathematicians in the world. This study would be promptly thrown away and a new one would be drafted by a mid-level government worker who has a degree in technical writing.

15 drafts, 3 rule-making systems, and 5 administrations later we will be able to start experimenting with small red lights. Soon after, a grand mother will call the police saying she saw a UFO and there will be a congressional inquiry regarding the red lights.

Why wasn't there a study to see if this could possibly be mistaken for a UFO? Who's to blame?! says the headline. A later journalist investigation will find that the cylinder was never defined clearly and so the red light is a huge failure. We obviously need to start from scratch.
 
The first issue the FAA would have with that is it's not "government enough". No, instead it should be a cylindrical red light at least 3" in length, 2" in diameter, etc, etc. Then they would want to tell you how to use pi to help define what exactly a circle is so you can then later define what a cylinder is. But first they'd have to establish pi, which would mean a 5-year study using the best mathematicians in the world. This study would be promptly thrown away and a new one would be drafted by a mid-level government worker who has a degree in technical writing.

15 drafts, 3 rule-making systems, and 5 administrations later we will be able to start experimenting with small red lights. Soon after, a grand mother will call the police saying she saw a UFO and there will be a congressional inquiry regarding the red lights.

Why wasn't there a study to see if this could possibly be mistaken for a UFO? Who's to blame?! says the headline. A later journalist investigation will find that the cylinder was never defined clearly and so the red light is a huge failure. We obviously need to start from scratch.

Epic.
:rotfl:

I needed that laugh today. Thanks man!
 
Pilots with no tailwheel time.
Pilots who rely on GPS instead of sectional charts and roads.
Pilots who think a 4,000 foot paved runway is a "short field".
Pilots who don't flare.
Basball Players and NASCAR Drivers who fly Citations.
And every Doctor flying a Bonanza, who thinks he's a pilot...
 
Pilots with no tailwheel time.
Pilots who rely on GPS instead of sectional charts and roads.
Pilots who think a 4,000 foot paved runway is a "short field".
Pilots who don't flare.
Basball Players and NASCAR Drivers who fly Citations.
And every Doctor flying a Bonanza, who thinks he's a pilot...

He lives! Doooode, you've not been on here in a while!

4000ft is a short field?! Psssh...I landed the 414 on a 2800ft strip the other day here in the Bahamas...it was a little tight...
 
Pilots with no tailwheel time.
Pilots who rely on GPS instead of sectional charts and roads.
Pilots who think a 4,000 foot paved runway is a "short field".
Pilots who don't flare.
Basball Players and NASCAR Drivers who fly Citations.
And every Doctor flying a Bonanza, who thinks he's a pilot...
And keep in mind the doctor did his training in a 152 before buying his Bonanza, then he wonders why insurance wants 25 hours dual :rolleyes:
 
Yeah, I've been very busy lately, just got back from Dubai yesterday, go back again on Saturday, two days at home, go to Tel Aviv, 3 days home, go to Dubai, one day off, Dubai again. It's 108 every day there now! We were delayed an hour before pushback, at 10:30pm, because the temp was 104 and we needed it to get down to 100 for our take off data to work, on a 14,500' runway...and we used most of it before we got airborne.

Way back in 1977, when I was a freshman at the "Daniel Webster Institute" (we called it DWI, for a reason) I rented a 150 to fly a buddy of mine (who came from upstate NY), back to my home drome, Hampton Airport, NH. So we fly to downwind and I start to pull the carb heat out, slow down, etc. and he's looking all over the place for the "runway".

I pointed down to the 1,800' grass strip and say, "It's RIGHT THERE!" He goes Nuts. He'd never seen a runway less than about 5,000 of pavement. He was at DWI for their ATC program, stayed on through the Controller's strike in 1981, and is today about the number 2 guy in the FAA in DC, so I've got that going for me! http://www.hamptonairfield.com/
 
Yeah, I've been very busy lately, just got back from Dubai yesterday, go back again on Saturday, two days at home, go to Tel Aviv, 3 days home, go to Dubai, one day off, Dubai again. It's 108 every day there now! We were delayed an hour before pushback, at 10:30pm, because the temp was 104 and we needed it to get down to 100 for our take off data to work, on a 14,500' runway...and we used most of it before we got airborne.

Way back in 1977, when I was a freshman at the "Daniel Webster Institute" (we called it DWI, for a reason) I rented a 150 to fly a buddy of mine (who came from upstate NY), back to my home drome, Hampton Airport, NH. So we fly to downwind and I start to pull the carb heat out, slow down, etc. and he's looking all over the place for the "runway".

I pointed down to the 1,800' grass strip and say, "It's RIGHT THERE!" He goes Nuts. He'd never seen a runway less than about 5,000 of pavement. He was at DWI for their ATC program, stayed on through the Controller's strike in 1981, and is today about the number 2 guy in the FAA in DC, so I've got that going for me!
I just landed at my first real soft field the other day. A little public use field in Mountainair, NM. Real cool expierience.
 
Now you are ready for dirt roads, golf courses and cow pastures!

Hint: do a low pass first for a close look, to be sure there are no pot-holes, wire fences or sleeping cows lying in the tall grass...don't ask me how I know this.
 
Things I've seen people do that bother me since I started doing this for a living:

GA Stuff
1) Watched someone do teardrop patterns to opposite ends of the runway while I was trying to teach a student how to land
2) CAP airplanes flying opposite direction on a downwind 100ft above TPA without a radio call (they are "patrolling a bridge")
3) People who steal parking spots that say "Reserved for flight school" when they are taking a lunch break from watching a bridge.
4) Dropping skydivers over an airport. I get it...its convenient for you. But that can't possibly be safe.

Airline stuff
1) Watched my captain threaten to kick someone's ass in uniform out front of the terminal in HPN. Bonus points for the handicapped tag hanging from his mirror already.
2) Had captains from both sides of the political spectrum talk my ear off
3) Had a guy make me stop what I was doing so he could go through EVERY NOTAM on the release with a highlighter. Even for the airports we were only flying over. Man were we late.
4) Flew with a guy who made me turn the autopilot on at 600ft (FOM min) and off at minimums for the approach because that's what he did.
5) Other planes using entirely too much power to taxi.
6) Had a captain yelling at me for turning on the cowl anti ice without telling her what I was doing first. "That's my panel. You don't touch anything unless you tell me first"
7) People who get pissed off at the system. So there's nobody to park us. Airlines are operating everything understaffed because they're cheap. Yelling at the guy on the other end of the radio in ops sure isn't going to make them want to help us any more.
8) People who don't care about passengers. I had a guy refuse to let me call for a new gate when we were told ours was occupied. We sat there for 45 mins before I finally did it anyway. I should have done it much sooner because in reality they wanted us on a lead in line between our assigned gate and another. Lots of people missed their connections. His reasoning was "They're not going to fix it until people make them". I really should have intervened sooner.
9) Crazy people. One time in Omaha we got down to the hotel lobby early to be told "sorry, the van is picking up another crew and will be 10 mins late." Captain said "no problem, gives me time to eat my lunch". Van shows up 10 minutes late and he goes freakin loony and starts yelling at the people at the front desk.
10) Married guys hitting on flight attendants and being sleazbags in general.

And this is just the stuff off the top of my head...there's plenty of stories I thought of that I don't feel comfortable typing on the internet. I could write a freakin book.


:laff: good ones!
 
I knew as soon as I posted that somebody would say something.

I knew a guy who stuttered horribly when having a conversation. When he spoke on the radio, it was beatiful, clear, and concise. What I was more referring to was working with guys who I know don't stutter at all, but when they get on the radio, they push-to-think, not push-to-talk.

I didn't mean any offense, it's mostly when I'm working with somebody who just doesn't know how or what to say on the radio, and basically get a deer in the headlight look when we get a radio call.



I was about to go off then saw this followup. I've had a revolving stutter since I was 3 that tends to get worse under stress...(ie public speaking, interviews, ordering a beer at the bar when it's loud... etc), but when I'm in an airplane, no problems what so ever.

If you do happen upon a person with a stutter, please know we don't do it on purpose, and that we're extrememly self conscious and probably already hate ourselves because of it.




As for pet peeves? Pilots who get hired before me. :D
 
Now you are ready for dirt roads, golf courses and cow pastures!

Hint: do a low pass first for a close look, to be sure there are no pot-holes, wire fences or sleeping cows lying in the tall grass...don't ask me how I know this.
A cow can not be good for one's prop.:D
 
And washing their poop off the under side of the wing is a bitch, to say nothing of my underware. :eek:
 
Pilots who add 2000rpm to turn corners and have zero regard for what's behind them while taxiing.

Pilots who can't start an engine without it racing to 2000rpm and staying there for 30 seconds.

Pilots who treat rental airplanes like rental cars.

Flight instructors who can't seem to get up the stones to say "I don't know, let me get back to you on that."

Mechanics who blame every. single. problem. on pilots.

Controllers who chew you out for not listening when you had to repeat your tail number 3 times, your location 4 times and your request twice.

Knock that crap off!
 
On the flip side, I can't stand FBO's who won't fix things on rental planes. If I squawk something 3 flights in a row, and you sign it off as fixed, and it continues to not function, its not fixed.


Yeah that drives me insane too... and I'm a flight school mechanic.

Oh I forgot! "Hey so uh, we had an alternator failure about 45 minutes into the flight and came back, do we have to pay for the flight?"

Uh yeah, yeah you do.
 
Oh I forgot! "Hey so uh, we had an alternator failure about 45 minutes into the flight and came back, do we have to pay for the flight?"

Uh yeah, yeah you do.

That's totally fair. Its not like they couldn't log the time. What about if somebody has an issue on the ground, and just ends up taxing back to the school? Charge them, or what?
 
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