you might be a fr8t dog if:
You cant remember the name of the last girl you have had a relationship with. or what she looks like
when a girl asks what airline you work for you change the subject
you have considered messing arroud with the "big girl" at the fbo, and you know a few co-workers who already have
you still use the same lunch cooler that you "really had to go" in
you havent showered in a week, and no one cares
you know how far the waffle house is from 15 different airports.
you know every one who works in each of those waffle houses by first and last name, how many kids they have, and the name of their illigitmant fathers
all of those waffle house people make more money then you
a cig and coffe is lunch
you slid off the road on the way to work, twice, and still took off
after leaving work you hit another car in the parking lot because you forgot you cant drive IFR
the car you drive has as many paint schemes as the planes you fly
every plane you fly is older then you are
you will never see any of this "glass panel" stuff
the avionics stack has one radio with orange lights, one with green, and a few others that dont light up at all
you have tried to figure out if you could hook up your portable dvd player to the radar scope
when you go out on the weekends you show up at the bar when everyone else is leaving
-you keep drinking anyway
you take your head phones off to put your mp3 player on - missed radio calls switched to the next controller checked in then said "sorry radio problems"
You have asked and recieved direct routing using your hand held GPS
you have taped up bags in the cockpit behind the seats to keep the heat up front
you know where every circut breaker is, but you cannot find the radio master swich
atc doesnt ask "can you take a..."
You know every controllers name on the route you fly, which frequency, their weekly schedule, and ask if they are sick when they are not there.
when asked "do you have your outbound clearance" you respond with "same as last night?" ... usually the conversation ends
you laugh when you hear an airliner report turb 4 miles away
you check on to certian frequencys with your re-rout before the controller talks
you see flashes in the clouds ahead, and dont deviate cause you want to check to make sure its lightning
you have heard thunder over the engines
you have had to wait for someone to beat the ice off your door before you can get out
you have intercepted the ils inside the marker still in IFR, but called the visual 4 miles ago cause you coud see the ground below you
your flight bag includes - 8 year old david clarks - necessary paper work and charts - one laptop - 4 dvd's - one mp3 player - hand held gps- hand held trancever with LOC capibility - one disposable camera - two sets of head phones for the mp3 incase one fails - one playboy - two cokes - 4 granola bars - two paks of cigs - 3 lighters (just in case) - 2 sick sacks (for #2) - empty wide mouth gatoraid bottle - all of your mail from the last two weeks - power cords for everything in your flight bag - one condom (just in case) - and a sandwich you made last week
summer time atire - cutoffs, flip flops, 12 year old t-shirt with holes in it
winter time atire - snow boots, ski pants, parka, gloves, hat, googles, ski mask, and one blanket for in flight
you have taken a sleeping bag with you because no one is at the fbo when you get there
you have made instant coffie with a tin cup, your 3 lighters and melted snow
you have made holes in the roof of your interior with head while being blinded in a level 4 t-storms
you get excited when there is a gps in the plane cause you have something to occupy your time with
you have tried to fly with your foot while your seat is in the recline position - and some have mastered it
You have exited the plane and relieved yourself off the back of the wing cause you had to go so bad
turbulence has woken you up
and last but not least
Your board with your new, non fr8t, flying job