You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants...

Derg

New Arizona, Il Duce/Warlord
Staff member
...rate your landing like a gymnastics event:

But it wasn't mine! Whew!




50...40...30....20/10/8/6/4/2/BAM!
 

ftyflyboy

Well-Known Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

Ouch...and the russian judge was especially hard on the pilot this evening.
 

jcremy

Well-Known Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

What, did the Captain use the Autoland?
 

coa787

Unknown Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

50...40...30....20/10/8/6/4/2/BAM!
Hmm, usually it stops after 10, unless it's an Airbus, then it goes to 5. Hell, the Airbus even calls you a "retard" just before you touch down.
 

JA Yawd Bwoy

Well-Known Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

Hmm, usually it stops after 10, unless it's an Airbus, then it goes to 5. Hell, the Airbus even calls you a "retard" just before you touch down.
No it means the plane is supposed to retard, as in reverse the attitude, as in flare! I hat it when someone just calls someone a retard, its Mentally Retarded, gosh!:banghead: just my little rant!:D;)
 

Hckey2477

Well-Known Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

No it means the plane is supposed to retard, as in reverse the attitude, as in flare! I hat it when someone just calls someone a retard, its Mentally Retarded, gosh!:banghead: just my little rant!:D;)
Well if you want to get nit pickey, I believe the correct term is mentally challenged. ;)
 

Seggy

Well-Known Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

What pisses me off is that we as professional pilots bring the plane and its occupants hundreds if not thousands of miles safely through hazardous environments and we are judged on the last inch.
 

MusketeerMan

Well-Known Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

It's better than my CA the other day...50...40...sink rate, sink rate...10...BLAM! We're just human..laugh it off.
 

Orange Anchor

New Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

ain't no big deal. I used to offer the pax the opportunity to grade the landing with 5 being average, anything less than 5 needing improvement and anything better than 5 being better than average. Of course, most pax have no idea of the challenges of a good landing or that you may want to drive it on with a runway that is wet with standing water.

I had a pax get in my face because we were :10 late after a cross country flight. I smiled and said that he couldn't go from his home and buy a six pack and guarantee to be back within :10 and I had just brought him through 3000 miles of wx and to a major airport and he had a complaint about :10?? he thought for a minute and laughed.

The real judge of the landing is the one in the cockpit.. you know when you nailed it and you also know when you screwed up. The other stuff is just that.. stuff.
 

coa787

Unknown Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

No it means the plane is supposed to retard, as in reverse the attitude, as in flare!
Don't go thinking that I was being serious about that.

And besides, you're wrong anyway.
 

SFCC/UND

Well-Known Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

Uh Oh. I smell a fight comming along. JERRY. JERRY. JERRY. LOL
 

Cool2Fly

New Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

:D

:D I was just foolin around, oh btw, how am I wrong? I don't like making the same mistake twice!;)
The plane is telling you to retard the thrust levers not the pitch attitude. All part of this wierd transition the airbus makes from it's flight law to landing like a normal plane. On landing the plane's computers actually make it pitch forward so the pilots natural instinct is to counteract that and start the flare. Hope that helps...
 

coa787

Unknown Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

Uh Oh. I smell a fight comming along. JERRY. JERRY. JERRY. LOL
What? Nah...

The plane is telling you to retard the thrust levers not the pitch attitude. All part of this wierd transition the airbus makes from it's flight law to landing like a normal plane. On landing the plane's computers actually make it pitch forward so the pilots natural instinct is to counteract that and start the flare. Hope that helps...
Actually, it's just for the thrust levers. The word "retard" is a reminder to pilots to bring the thrust levers to idle during the flare just prior to touchdown (somewhere around fifteen to ten feet above the runway). If the autothrottles are engaged, the thrust setting will go to idle on its own during the flare, but the thrust levers will not move, so the pilot must move them manually. Frenchies.


























*Actually, the aircraft says "retard" as an insult by a French airplane to the American pilots who fly it. And that's the truth!*
 

JA Yawd Bwoy

Well-Known Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

The plane is telling you to retard the thrust levers not the pitch attitude. All part of this wierd transition the airbus makes from it's flight law to landing like a normal plane. On landing the plane's computers actually make it pitch forward so the pilots natural instinct is to counteract that and start the flare. Hope that helps...
Actually, it's just for the thrust levers. The word "retard" is a reminder to pilots to bring the thrust levers to idle during the flare just prior to touchdown (somewhere around fifteen to ten feet above the runway). If the autothrottles are engaged, the thrust setting will go to idle on its own during the flare, but the thrust levers will not move, so the pilot must move them manually. Frenchies.

Very interesting, thanks for the info!;):)
 

Lee D

Well-Known Member
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

What pisses me off is that we as professional pilots bring the plane and its occupants hundreds if not thousands of miles safely through hazardous environments and we are judged on the last inch.
You know I think about that same thing almost every trip. I hear F/O's apologize after a firm landing though they just put down right on the centerline, well within the touchdown zone and on speed. All the things that really matter were right on, but they worry about the firm, but not even close to breaking anything, landing. I catch myself doing the same thing, mostly because of what Seggy mentioned above.
Me: "Crap, what was that? After 3000 hours in this thing you think I could make the landing less obvious!"

. . . .Of course there are firm landings and then there are the " Whoa, too high dude, let it come down. . . . . whoa, whoa, WHOA . . . .MY CONTROLS!!!" landings. Big difference. :) Hopefully most of us rarely experience the later kind, except while instructing.
 

Screaming_Emu

Joe Conventional
Re: You know it's a bad landing when the flight attendants..

What pisses me off is that we as professional pilots bring the plane and its occupants hundreds if not thousands of miles safely through hazardous environments and we are judged on the last inch.
Yeah, its not our damn fault that they build a lot of airports about 2-3 feet too high....lazy construction workers!!
 
Top