rwgb1984
Well-Known Member
JC Family, not really sure what I am looking for by posting this. Possibly just venting, looking for support, but here goes...
So over the last two years things have been up and down in my life personally but within the last year things have been fantastic as well as tragic.
I got engaged last September to an amazing woman who I am excited to share the rest of my life with. About two weeks after we were engaged her parents, married for 28 yrs, decided to get divorced. This has put an indefinite hold on any wedding planning. (We were sort of expecting her parents to be able to help carry some of the cost of the wedding.)
After settling into the after shock of her parents announcement we were confronted with another incredibly stressful situation where my ex-wife alluded to her desire to move to Florida to be with her boyfriend (together at that time only five months) and take our four year old with her. Away from myself, my daughters grandparents (of whom, my mom is one of her most important relationships) and all other support. The events that unfolded became quite heated but thankfully we were able to avoid any serious legal action (which I did pursue until my ex relented, considering the fact that she did not have a job at the time.)
Fast forward to two weeks ago. My mom (51yrs old, a high debt load and making enough money to cover basic expenses and minimum payments on her debts) was implicated in what can be described as nothing short of a scandal involving a local university college, and members of the payroll office paying student employees (who happen to be the children of said payroll employees) for work that they weren't performing. The way she found out was probably the best *sarcasm* part as she was at work when her boss called her into his office to tell her that her name was in a local newspaper article about 1st Degree Felony indictments, that had been handed down by the grand jury earlier that week, for participating in organized criminal activity. We are still awaiting her arraignment date so what will become of said situation remains to be seen.
Then last night my fiance's dad called to tell her that he can no longer pay for her school. Not that this is somthing to be expected (I receive financial aid to pay for school so I'm aware this isn't a right) but this comes after a summer where he was living with his girlfriend and paying for an expensive apartment in the city. She is going to talk to an advisor today to try and find out what her options are (setting up a payment plan for the balance owed for the remainder of the semester, dropping some classes to reduce the amount, etc...)
I guess it just seems like things over the past year in the midst of trying to stay afloat financially at times, stick with school, nurture our relationship, trying to be a good dad that we have faced some fairly large challenges and it all seems like too much. I'm doing my best to be supportive to my fiance' and stay strong myself. But sometimes it does seem like our lives are perched precariously on a razors edge...
I have been seeing a therapist for the past few months (prior to all of the latest events) and having an external perspective to help sort through all of this has been a huge help. However, it still feels like we have days where we are making really good progress forward and then we are confronted with another emergency.
I guess I should at this point clarify that our (myself and my Fiance') relationship is great. All of these events have really pushed us together and allowed us to become supports for each other. So this post isn't really about holding our relationship together as much as it is about trying to get all of this out somewhere and maybe getting some outside perspective? Who knows I guess...
/rant
So over the last two years things have been up and down in my life personally but within the last year things have been fantastic as well as tragic.
I got engaged last September to an amazing woman who I am excited to share the rest of my life with. About two weeks after we were engaged her parents, married for 28 yrs, decided to get divorced. This has put an indefinite hold on any wedding planning. (We were sort of expecting her parents to be able to help carry some of the cost of the wedding.)
After settling into the after shock of her parents announcement we were confronted with another incredibly stressful situation where my ex-wife alluded to her desire to move to Florida to be with her boyfriend (together at that time only five months) and take our four year old with her. Away from myself, my daughters grandparents (of whom, my mom is one of her most important relationships) and all other support. The events that unfolded became quite heated but thankfully we were able to avoid any serious legal action (which I did pursue until my ex relented, considering the fact that she did not have a job at the time.)
Fast forward to two weeks ago. My mom (51yrs old, a high debt load and making enough money to cover basic expenses and minimum payments on her debts) was implicated in what can be described as nothing short of a scandal involving a local university college, and members of the payroll office paying student employees (who happen to be the children of said payroll employees) for work that they weren't performing. The way she found out was probably the best *sarcasm* part as she was at work when her boss called her into his office to tell her that her name was in a local newspaper article about 1st Degree Felony indictments, that had been handed down by the grand jury earlier that week, for participating in organized criminal activity. We are still awaiting her arraignment date so what will become of said situation remains to be seen.
Then last night my fiance's dad called to tell her that he can no longer pay for her school. Not that this is somthing to be expected (I receive financial aid to pay for school so I'm aware this isn't a right) but this comes after a summer where he was living with his girlfriend and paying for an expensive apartment in the city. She is going to talk to an advisor today to try and find out what her options are (setting up a payment plan for the balance owed for the remainder of the semester, dropping some classes to reduce the amount, etc...)
I guess it just seems like things over the past year in the midst of trying to stay afloat financially at times, stick with school, nurture our relationship, trying to be a good dad that we have faced some fairly large challenges and it all seems like too much. I'm doing my best to be supportive to my fiance' and stay strong myself. But sometimes it does seem like our lives are perched precariously on a razors edge...
I have been seeing a therapist for the past few months (prior to all of the latest events) and having an external perspective to help sort through all of this has been a huge help. However, it still feels like we have days where we are making really good progress forward and then we are confronted with another emergency.
I guess I should at this point clarify that our (myself and my Fiance') relationship is great. All of these events have really pushed us together and allowed us to become supports for each other. So this post isn't really about holding our relationship together as much as it is about trying to get all of this out somewhere and maybe getting some outside perspective? Who knows I guess...
/rant