Sad......

J

jskibo

Done
Sorry to vent.....

Planned for several months now to go to CFI school so I can eventually make the jump from what I do now to flying. It's really a second career for me, since I have 20+ years in Aerospace Defense Program Management. Talked it over with my fiancée as we've been together five years and have a four year old together along with five other kids between us....so

Been in the American Flyers CFI program since Aug 22nd. Things are starting to click and make sense. The "Mrs" has been a little distant the past few weeks and hasn't called and only sent a few texts in the last ten days.....

So I drive from Chicago back to Michigan today to swap out clothes, get some lesson plan CDs I left and pay some bills. We had today off but I have to be back tomorrow at 8am for class. So up at 4am to drive tomorrow and finish off the last five days.

Finally get ahold of my girl and I'm hit with the news she's seeing someone else for the past month (we live together but she travels for work and such way more than me).

So I have to finish off CFI with that news, come back and take the ride, do the CFII, and my commercial multi scheduled for sep 20th as well as finding a place to live and moving. WTF? Not to mention kids involved.

Guess I'll be looking for a CFI slot somewhere soon.

Today is horrible....thanks for letting me vent!
 
Sucks man, a lot of us have been there/similar situations. All I know to say is things are going to suck for a while and eventually you probably won't even care anymore. The best thing to do is not let it distract you from what you're accomplishing.

Come to Vegas, adult beverages and strip clubs are on me. :P
 
Oh man.....this is no bueno. Things had to have been doing awry for sometime....this can't be a sudden deal. Is she willing to sit down and discuss the situation? If not to resolve it, then for clarification so that you will understand what happened and why and also you will need to be working out how you are going to see and be involved in your child's life - which is the most important issue.

No one deserves this and I know you must be confused, angry, hurt and upset. If she was that unhappy, for whatever reason(s) she should have been honest, let you know, at least attempted to work things out or made a clean break and not cheated on you behind your back. That is really awful and I am sorry. Cheating for me, is a deal breaker. Some people can work it out, but that's easier said than done.

The only thing you can do if there is to be no reconciliation, is to put your child's needs first, define your time/involvement with her even if you need to hire an attorney to do this and secure your rights (don't take your gf's word that everything will be fine and you'll work it out- at this point she is not to be trusted obviously and things/minds/situations change).

Get through your school first and concentrate on that since you are part way through. I know it won't be easy. You'll just have to compartmentalize it all right now. But seriously, then get an attorney so that your parental rights are defined and legalized.

Get some finds to step up and help you move/ stick your stuff in storage or what ever for a time if you need to do that. You don't have to go it alone. Stay at a buddy's or a relative if you have to. It will be a good bridge, rather than being alone right now. You don't have to hurry up and find a place, stick what you don't need in storage and get a temp place. Handle the rest later.

I hope this works out. Very sorry to hear this.
 
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I asked about the whole, why don't we talk about it thing. Funny as we started out as best friends and ended up in a relationship, child, etc.

There has been a lot of away time for her this year. Constant work travel, her new book and another degree. She said she just feels distance and was telling a friend she felt like we were roommates more than fiancée....of course this is the one she is with now.

Tough with the kids, been down this road and previously divorced myself.

I'm not so much angry, just confused and would like more than a 20 minute phone call to discuss it.....sigh

I'll be in Vegas. I need to put some faces to names finally

Appreciate the support from all. You guys are great!
 
That sucks, I feel bad for you. Having worked with couples in a pastoral context I would say that "we just grew apart and distant" is right up there with financial/spending/credit disagreements on the reasons couples split up. Sometimes relationships take a lot of effort and intent to keep from drifting apart. Again, sorry bro... especially with kids involved. I grew up in a divorced home and it sucked a lot out of me.
 
:/

I've been in a steady-state version of that for a while, but no kits involved it's pretty different. Anyway, I'm really sad to hear about this, especially in what should be one of the fun, adventuresome parts of life. If it wasn't for the kids, I'd say that it sounds like a good time for a clean break... but as it is, I can't do much aside from wince and feel bad.

It does sound like a good time to be a bit selfish in return, though.

A $beverage is on me in Vegas.

-Fox
 
MikeD said:
One of the neat things that always intrigues me in the area I patrol, is just how there's so much nothingness of desert out there, especially on the bombing range. There are a ton of people we've never found, or by the time we did stumble across them, they were a skeleton.

Just an interesting observation.
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Rofl. That got a smile. :)

In all seriousness though, I completely realize that I will be interacting with her for decades to come and we share an incredible daughter. So while I'm shocked and put in a bad place, I want to stay civil if not friendly.
 
jskibo said:
So while I'm shocked and put in a bad place, I want to stay civil if not friendly.
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just take every opportunity to point out that you don't want her to turn out like her mother, The Lying Conniving •.

damn, I can't say • here... well it's kind of like Slot.

ok j/k

no... I was just making a bad joke here....

really the bigger you are about this the better off you and your daughter will be over the long run. You'll need to remember that because you will definitely be in several times of rough and uncharted waters...just remember to be the father your daughter deserves.
 
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