Quality of life question

ozone

Well-Known Member
I am looking for some input, especially from those who have faced this type of issue before.
The set up:
2 school-aged kids (2nd grade & 6th grade)
stay-at-home mom
in our current community for 5 years
About 20 years experience doing what i do for work

The options:
1: stay in the current metro area and take a job that pays 60% of what I have been making, doing what I've been doing for years, schools stay the same, and the commute is only 20-30 minutes

2: stay in the current metro area and take a job that pays 90-100% of what I have been making, schools stay the same, but commute is over an hour

3: Move next state over to new job that pays 100-150% of what I have been making, commute is 5-10 minutes, schools are ok/good, and it's in a teeny-tiny town far from everything else. One benefit: cost of living is 1/3 of current.

4: Move next state over to new job that pays 100-150% of what I have been making, commute is 10-15 minutes, schools are only good in spendy area of town (of course), and the job has a leadership opportunity. One benefit: cost of living is 3/4 of current location.

5: Move far away to new job that pays 70-90% of what I have been making, commute is 30 minutes, schools are good, and the job is 100% secure after 3 years. One benefit: cost of living is 3/4 of current location.

6: Move far away to new job that pays 100-150% of what I have been making, commute is 15 minutes, I would need to get back into doing some things I haven't done for over 10 years, schools are ok/poor, and the job is in a remote but nice town. One benefit: cost of living is 1/2 of current location.

My concerns:
1: wife has made connections in local community
2: kids have made friends in local community/school
3: wife has horse and has made connections in horse community
4: I have made connections in the community with my flying hobby

I know, I know....first world problems. If anyone has faced similar job decisions, I would really like some thoughts. Especially as it relates to how your family handled things.

Thank you to anyone willing to answer.
 
Kids can live without a big house, new car, or the latest in electronic sorcery. Kids need Mom and Dad. That means Mom and Dad need to be on the same page. Do not underestimate the value of community connection, for both adults and kids. And NO job is 100% secure.
 
What does your wife think? Will moving to the next state over mean cutting all ties with your current social circles? Is the income level you're basing your numbers off of enough to retire comfortably? Do you mind driving an hour or more each way to work?
 
I grew up a military brat. Moved practically every year of my childhood. Went to 3 different high schools in three different states prior to graduation. While I hated it as a kid, looking back, I learned to appreciate the life experience as an adult. I saw more, learned more and met a more diverse group of people which I feel made me a more rounded and a better me.

As was said, kids are resilient and will adapt and prosper while learning to temporarily sometimes live outside their comfort zone. They'll be fine and will probably benefit and become better for it in the long run.

Your wife may be harder to convince but you have to do whats best for the family.
 
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Just look at my posts, and you'll see...I chose to stay in town where the family is happy, and more importantly, the wife's aging family are.

All families are different, and you and your wife have to be on the same page. Best of luck in the decision making.
 
I'd go with #3 with the possibility of #2.

I only would go with #2 if you really like driving. I, for the majority of my career, had at least an hour commute but enjoyed the down time before and after work.
 
If I were you, I'd compromise and do whatever you wife wants.

If that means sticking around where you're at and doing an hour drive to make the gig work, it's not the end of the world.
 
I would take option 3 but I’ve always enjoyed the adventure of starting somewhere completely new and prefer small towns to big ones. Plus with pay raise and much lower col, with extremely short commute, you’ll have more time and funds to do stuff you and your family enjoy.
 
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