Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the cabin?

Vector4Food

This job would be easier without all the airplanes
Any good ones?

Had one male pilot chirp up on the freq one day....


"Hey is it alright if I get up and use the bathroom?"

Followed by me:

"Roger sir, cleared direct to the lav"

Followed by various accented pilots:

"Don't forget to wash!"
"Be polite flush twice!"

And my favourite from a female on the freq:

"Don't forget to wipe front to back sir!"

Damn near lost it then, all we got back was a "Yea yea yea"
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

We usually have the hot mic turned on so theres no pressing the interphone button to talk, so I've never accidently pressed the PTT instead. However, I have made a PA announcement on tower frequency:

Me: "Ladies and gentlemen, we will be departing shortly. Trish, please be seated."
Tower: "My name's John, and you'll leave when I say you leave... oh and position and hold."
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

I made a sweet PA last week, to bad it was on ORD ground freq and not the back of the plane.
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

Well, I heard this on JFK's TWR frequency a while ago:

Pilot: "Folks, from the flight deck. Again, we'd like to welcome you to New York. The weather this evening is nice with some partly cloudy skies and a temperature of 71 degrees. We'll be taxiing for a few moments to our gate, which will be gate xxx for this evening."

TWR: "Aw, come on! Are you guys gonna let him get away with that?!"

Various other pilots: "Welcome to New York!" "I don't think the weather's so nice." "What was our gate again?" ...
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

I try to leave my hot mic off (we called it the JJ switch when they were still here and could always tell if a Jets For Jobs guy last flew the plane if the switch was left on) so I think I've probably slipped a few "yes" or "uh huhs" on freq when I pushed the intercom/transmit switch the wrong way once or twice. However, much more often I have forgotten to come out of PA made and read back our cleared for take off or positions and hold clearance on the PA. I guess that's probably the benefit of having a separate mic/phone for that sort of thing.
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

:yeahthat:

I did that few times
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

I thought I would add this...I'm a controller...but it kind of went both ways....

I cleared a Citation X for takeoff...about 1/4 through the takeoff roll, he aborted...I taxiied him around to another runway. My supervisor then asked me to ask the pilot the reason he aborted....here's how it went.

Me: "N1234, say reason for abortion."
Pilot: "I had bad trim."

:rotfl:

I couldn't stop laughing...could barely work the next five minutes without laughing in the middle of a transmission.
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

I always figure there are guys that "have recently" and guys that "will again soon" talk over the COM when it's meant for the cabin!
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

Well, heres one.

PHL-BOS. Im in range and the FA calls me to give me the specials. I swap on over, take the requests, and get ready to call ops.

"Boston Ops, Brickyard 3482."

....

"Boston Ops, Brickyard 3482."


....

I look at the CA.

"Ya know, they never answer the phone in Boston. Its aggravating...."

"Yeah." He says. "Eh, just try em again and if they don't answer, they can deal with us on the ground."

"Sure" I say.

"Boston Ops, Brickyard 3482. Anybody home?"

To which the FA calls again and says "It would probably be easier to actually call them then put it over the PA. I bet they would hear you better." I never switched back over after I talked to her!:eek:

Needless to say we kept the door shut until the peeps were off at my request. I felt like a knucklehead!
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

On IOE I made a long PA about our position, altitude, groundspeed, weather ahead, our great FA in the back, and sights we'd be flying over.

I then had the center come back and say "well done!" followed by a bunch of bravos, nice job, and other funny comments.
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

My FO started to make one the other day, but I stopped him after a few words.

We got a few "good afternoon to you too"s and "awwww why didn't you let him go"s.

Luckily I haven't done it yet in my 4 years of 121 flying. I have flown with pilots that will start waving and gesturing toward the radio while you're making your PA, even though you've configured the panel properly, in an attempt to disrupt your speech as a joke. Funny, when used sparingly.
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

when i was a student we were on the local CTAF, at a relatively busy airport, and the mic button got stuck while my instructor was talking about all the "idiot rednecks that flew around this area". when it was finally unstuck, we got a bunch of thick texan accents telling us to get the F outta here.... we did.... i could see his embarassment / anger.
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

I was talking about this topic with another FO on the jumpseat a couple of weeks ago.

He finished his T/O announcement as the pulled into position. Once cleared for T/O....

CA: "Set power."

FO: (singing) "Here weeee gooo!!!" as he advances the thrust levers.

The FA calls; "You're on the PA!"
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

Slightly out of context, but the other day while getting a take off clearance out of SLC, I had the tower controller tell me to look out for a flock of penguins at 5500 feet several miles west of the field.

After the his initial report to me the rest of the converstation went more or less like this:

Me: "Penguins??"
Tower: "Yeah a large flock of penguins was reported by a departing aircraft."
Me: "Ooohhh kay well let you know if we see the penguins."

I did see and report a very large flock of pelicans but I never could find those penguins. :)

On a side note: I would love to fill out the FAA bird strike form and list "penguin" as the type of bird I hit.
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

Slightly out of context, but the other day while getting a take off clearance out of SLC, I had the tower controller tell me to look out for a flock of penguins at 5500 feet several miles west of the field.

After the his initial report to me the rest of the converstation went more or less like this:

Me: "Penguins??"
Tower: "Yeah a large flock of penguins was reported by a departing aircraft."
Me: "Ooohhh kay well let you know if we see the penguins."

I did see and report a very large flock of pelicans but I never could find those penguins. :)

On a side note: I would love to fill out the FAA bird strike form and list "penguin" as the type of bird I hit.

:laff::laff:
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

Whilst telling a student to get himself across the hold short line and off the runway, I realized I hadn't let off the mic button from reading back our taxi instructions....
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

The plane I fly has a transmit button for the radio and a seperate button to talk to the other crew member. One button is on the side of the yoke, and the other one is on top of the yoke. When you're conversing with the captain and talking on the radio, it is very easy to get confused and press the wrong button. Thankfully though, the side tone in your headset is slightly different between the two buttons, so if you accidentally transmit a comment meant for the captain on frequency, you'll realize it rather quickly.
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

Funny thread.
I was cleared for landing behind another plane at a contract-tower D field. However, my approach speed was a bit too hot for the poker in front of me (who cut in line, might I add... rationalization, sure, but whatever), so I was given the go-around. I read back the go around instruction, looked at my buddy beside me and said "d-bag" (the real word, which rhymes with "Swoosh", gets edited by JC). Then I looked at my finger. Nuts! Still on the switch. What the heck was it doing there still??? When asked to repeat my previous transmission, obviously I stated "N123A, Going Around." I dunno who heard what, but I have NEVER said ANYTHING bad about a controller ever again whilst in the cockpit. I felt so ashamed, I hung my head when I deplaned, afraid he'd be watching me. Whenever I fly there now, I'm super friendly, just in case they remember. I was embarrassed. It's out of my nature to call someone a name, so I think I panicked, thus the uncontrollable finger. Ugh.
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

I try to leave my hot mic off (we called it the JJ switch when they were still here and could always tell if a Jets For Jobs guy last flew the plane if the switch was left on) so I think I've probably slipped a few "yes" or "uh huhs" on freq when I pushed the intercom/transmit switch the wrong way once or twice. However, much more often I have forgotten to come out of PA made and read back our cleared for take off or positions and hold clearance on the PA. I guess that's probably the benefit of having a separate mic/phone for that sort of thing.

So I take it that after you shut down and tear off the headset you also sometimes reach out and move the switch up before you say anything? In fact, usually the first item on the shutdown checklist is done with me flipping it up to hot mic.
 
Re: Pilots- Things you've said on frequency meant for the ca

You're assuming I fly with a headset.

OH NO!!! RJ+HAND MIC = DEATH

I actually can't say I've flipped up the switch before when just normally talking. I can see how it could happen though.
 
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