Pilots -- Things Controller's Say That Annoy You.

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"Say again, I was on the landline."

I hear ya! Again today in AEX (they're usually pretty good just two bad performances stick out) We're turning a 5 mile base and tower isnt responding... 3 calls later "sorry i was on a landline" im thinking geez im planning this go around in my head and you're yapping on the phone.... Happened again on the way out as well trying to get a taxi clearance....
 
This is my favorite.

atc: Can you do a left 360?
Me. Okay.
atc: I need you to do another one.
Me: Roger:
atc: Just do two more.
Me: How about you do left 360's until I tell you to stop.
 
"Radar Service terminated, squack 1200 ,frequency change approved, so long" when I'm 170 miles from my destination with the intent to get flight following...........
 
AEX Tower: Mesaba XXXX exit A3 ground point 7

Me: A3 over to ground Mesaba XXXX

Me: Ground Mesaba XXXX clear of 14 at A3

AEX Ground (same damn controller!): Taxi to the ramp

If you're wondering why I was pissed its because A3 runs directly into the ramp....the lady couldn't have said "taxi to the ramp with me" on tower freq?!?!?!? Oh yeah at 9:30 at night too! Adult beverages keep us sane....

The other night while coming home late we checked in with tower:

Us: Tower Citation 8RT on the Visual 2

Tower: Citation 8RT roger, cleared to land and taxi to the ramp

:laff:
 
The other night while coming home late we checked in with tower:

Us: Tower Citation 8RT on the Visual 2

Tower: Citation 8RT roger, cleared to land and taxi to the ramp

:laff:


And then there's "I have your clearance for the outbound when you're ready to copy" I like that one :D
 
My favourite when I'm out doing some recreational flying paying on the clock:

"ABC runway 29 taxi via Apron I, Alpha , and hold short... expect a lengthy delay, 8 VFR's in the circut and three IFR arrivals to get in"

This is not to mention that 80% of the VFR's are foreign contract chinese students who understand the following aviation terms:

"Affirmative" "Negative"

Not when or where to use it, or what they really mean, they simply know how to pronounce them.
 
When I was instructing out in PHX there was (and probably still is) a group that met every few months that was mostly made up of flight instructors but also included other people that used the airspace around Phoenix including guys out at Luke and some of the charter operators and ATC guys from the various towers and tracon. Anyhow, one of the DVT tower ops told a story about a Chinese student (the tower guys at Willie used to call them Samurai and would even put it on the ATIS when they invaded the airport on their cross countries) who got lost in the pattern at Deer Valley and was messing up everything. Tower kept giving him instructions and he'd say "waaaahgaaaa" and then continue on doing what ever he was doing. They finally had to clear out the airspace because they had no clue what he was doing next and every time they said anything to him he'd just say "waaaahgaaa".

Ah things I don't miss so much any more.:)
 
In our defense.

Gee. This is an easy one:

Anything that includes "descend" prior to my TOD point. Would you prefer the Southwest Airlines Profile for arrival?
Anything that includes "slow to ...." Would you prefer vectors for spacing or a hold then?
Anything that includes "traffic you are following is an RJ ..."
Step climbs/descents in 1000' increments. We do that for noise abatement.(Hitting another airplane is very loud!)
Any radio calls/questions during rollout prior to slowing to taxi speed.
After receiving PDC you are instructed to call CD to "verify the route." Wouldn't it be easier to verify it before sending the PDC?
30 mile finals when its VMC
170kt traffic patterns (Class B).




I hear you staple. I love it when we call up: xxx gnd, eja123 at Signature with "alpha" ready to taxi. Roger, say location and advise when you have alpha. :confused:
 
"Mesaba 1234 traffic 1 oclock and 15 miles a Cessna 152."

Call me again when he's like 5 miles away. Center is gonna get a "got him on TCAS" for sure on that one.
 
"Mesaba 1234 traffic 1 oclock and 15 miles a Cessna 152."

Call me again when he's like 5 miles away. Center is gonna get a "got him on TCAS" for sure on that one.

Or on the flip Side, Cessna 48787, traffic is a beech 1900 departing runway 32, climbing through 2200, advise you have that traffic in sight, otherwise start a left hand turn to 360.

When cessna 787 is a vfr 152 at 500 level. And the beech 1900 is skyrocketing up at 2000fpm. These targets are clearly no factor.
 
Would you prefer the Southwest Airlines Profile for arrival?
I would prefer abolishing "agreements" agencies have with each other. A standard 3 degree descent angle in conjunction with no early descents would allow more efficient operations. We don't really care that the next sector "wants us at FLxxx." It's just grossly inefficient. 6000 flights per day trolling along in the FL20s (because Zxx wants it that way) is wasting millions of gallons of fuel.

Would you prefer vectors for spacing or a hold then?
I would prefer that the slower airplane be turned for spacing (per the book). Funny how a Citation at .74 will be turned for an overtaking airliner at .78, but an airliner will not be turned for an overtaking Citation at .91M.

We do that for noise abatement.(Hitting another airplane is very loud!)
It makes for an annoying ride for passengers and constant power/configuration changes for the crew (inefficient). It would be more beneficial if the planes capable of climbing 6000fpm were not held down behind planes that can barely make 500fpm. Level the slow climber and allow the faster/better climbing aircraft to get out of town.
It's like the kid on the moped riding in the traffic lane. Pulling him (slow guy) to the side isn't making as big a difference in his travel time as the cars that he is holding up.
 
"Radar Service terminated, squack 1200 ,frequency change approved, so long" when I'm 170 miles from my destination with the intent to get flight following...........

I try to get something in the system for you if you request flight following to your destination. But on occasion, I may be too far down the tubes to put in anything other than a local code, or the next sector refuses the handoff because they are so far down.

Chris
 
Or them saying anything unnecessary to you when you're anywhere between short final and touch down.

I hear that!

Last month, landing runway 28 in ORD, the Tower controller says to us on short final "let me know if you get Fox."

Uh, what? Busy as we were, the perplexing and vague comment confused the captain and I.

What the controller WANTED to know was if we made the turn off at Taxiway Foxtrot.... so he had spacing for an intersecting runway departure.

I'm all about helping out when I can, but that's just silly. Critical phases of flight always trump keeping somebody's non-essential "rhythm".
 
Transitioning North to South VFR/VMC along the west coast of FL at 5,500' 3 miles off the shore line, you get the hand-off to Tampa Approach:

"NXXXX, do you have the shore in sight off your left wing?"

Get that one all the time. How could I not have the darned thing in site? I've got to say "no" sometime.
 
I would prefer abolishing "agreements" agencies have with each other. A standard 3 degree descent angle in conjunction with no early descents would allow more efficient operations. We don't really care that the next sector "wants us at FLxxx." It's just grossly inefficient. 6000 flights per day trolling along in the FL20s (because Zxx wants it that way) is wasting millions of gallons of fuel.

I would prefer that the slower airplane be turned for spacing (per the book). Funny how a Citation at .74 will be turned for an overtaking airliner at .78, but an airliner will not be turned for an overtaking Citation at .91M.

It makes for an annoying ride for passengers and constant power/configuration changes for the crew (inefficient). It would be more beneficial if the planes capable of climbing 6000fpm were not held down behind planes that can barely make 500fpm. Level the slow climber and allow the faster/better climbing aircraft to get out of town.
It's like the kid on the moped riding in the traffic lane. Pulling him (slow guy) to the side isn't making as big a difference in his travel time as the cars that he is holding up.

I agree with everything you just said and as much as I can I do that.
 
I was asked "Check gear down" in a C-182 once. It was a club airplane based at the field, and had fixed gear.

What else could I say?

"Roger. Three down and welded." :rolleyes:

Well, military controllers are obliged by reg to verbally check gear down, so that's no surprise.
 
I try to get something in the system for you if you request flight following to your destination. But on occasion, I may be too far down the tubes to put in anything other than a local code, or the next sector refuses the handoff because they are so far down.

Chris

Oh I know, ATC does a great job. It's usually when I'm in New York Airspace and I realize they're quite busy.
 
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