Pilots: Butt of many airline jokes

[JetCrew]

Eighty year-old passenger walks on to my plane: "Hey."

Me: "... hey."

Senior Passenger: "So a study was done of American airline pilots."

Me: "What were the findings?"

Senior Passenger: "They found that three percent had hemorrhoids."

Me: "... "

Senior Passenger: "The other ninety-seven percent were perfect •."

Me: "Where are you sitting?"

Senior Passenger: Twenty-Four A

Me: "... you can have whatever you want today."

 

[pcstan]

Subtle... very subtle!

 

[killbilly]

I confess. I don't get it.

 

[pcstan]

I confess. I don't get it.

3 percent of the pilot's had hemorrhoids, the rest were 'perfect' a.s.s.h.o.l.e.s!

 

[BigAki88]

Bahahaha

 

[Kev]

A few years ago I was at a taping of "The Colbert Report," which was my favorite show.

Before shooting, they had a warm-up comic come on. Sitting, quite excited to be there, I was grinning like an idiot.

The comic singled me out and said "Sir, you have very kind eyes - do you work with children?"

"Close. I work with Pilots."

 

[mrezee]

I've got two...

What's the difference between a jet engine and a pilot?
...
The jet engine stops whining when it gets to the gate.

---

What's the difference between a cockpit and a condom?
...
You can only fit one prick in a condom.

 

[BigAki88]

Hahaha, those are getting used my friend!!!

 

[El Oso]

What's the difference between a cactus and a cockpit?

On a cactus the pricks are on the outside.