Of Goobers & Ditzos (re: Teterboro accident)

ROFCIBC

Well-Known Member
Hey Gang,

I was going to post this under that thread but decided to start a new one.

The monkey has succeeded!

OK, gang what the hell does this mean?

This morning I had one of those “early getups…can’t sleep” moment. (FWIW I’m an early person anyhow…but I digress)

Turned on the TV, which was on the Fox network (don’t know why…it just was) and the breaking story was the crash at Teterboro airport. Being a pilot, and interested in things aviation, I began watching the “Breaking Story”….

They had the morning show trio, two Goobers and a Ditzo covering this event.

I must digress for a moment. I have a lot of personal names and labels for a lot of folks. Guys who have a mouth and no brains…”Goobers”, girls similarly equipped “Ditzos”. Nothing sexist, nothing derogatory, just my vocabulary. If this bothers you…move on, don’t read any farther…

OK, so we have a tragedy, involving humans, who’s lives may be in jeopardy.

As the program unfolds I began to think of the old saying about,

“Put a monkey at a typewriter and given enough time, according to the laws of chance he will eventually type out an encyclopedia!” For there on TV right before my very eyes were not one, but three monkeys, i.e. 2 Goobers & 1 Ditzo!

I was also reminded of a comment one of my troops made in an after action report, mainly,

“The head’s mouth moved!” Referring to a physical attribute (mouth moving) that had no connection to a brain (head).

These three “reporters” personified that as they proceeded to “report” on the accident. After a while I became nearly mesmerized by this show. Not because of the intelligent information, but by the realization that three people so stupid could actually have the ability to breath air and thus survive!

The crowning glory, at which time I turned the channel to some paid programming infomercial was when the Ditzo made the following observation.

They showed a file photo of a RJ, except this was a 50 or perhaps 70 seat version used commercially. The accident aircraft was the 20 seat version. On and on she went, with concurrence from the twin Goobers about how much of the airplane was NOT visible on the overhead pictures. Comments based on their concept that the accident aircraft was the same one in the file picture. Eventually somebody, probably a third grader at a local school, pointed out the accident aircraft was NOT a long 50 or 70 seat RJ. Quickly the “Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest” trio caught on and a new file photo showing the 20 seat version was shown. But the best was yet to come.

Remember dear reader these three had been babbling on and on about how LONG the airplane was and how much of it was NOT visible due to that length.

They all three, as if on cue, quickly switched to the idea that the airplane in the accident was NOT the longer version, but the much shorter one, and Viola! they were looking at most of it. But the crowning glory came from the Ditzo when she proudly announced, referring to the accident aircraft,

“This was obviously not the limousine version!”

No kidding, she really said that…at which time I switched to the aforementioned infomercials about exercise equipment and male enhancing drugs!

I guess PT Barnum had it right,

“There’s a sucker born every minute”….!
 
Ah, that my friend is why I HATE FOX NEWS with such a passion.

Actually, not just Fox News, but most television/broadcast news in general. At least when reading a newspaper article or internet news site you can skim over the crap and 'get' what's going on much faster. The only news show I watch is the WGN morning news, probably because it's mostly local Chicagoland news. Also the presenters aren't idiots.

When given a choice between the evening news and The Simpsons, (which just happens to be on at the same time as the nightly news) I'll pick The Simpsons anyday.
 
Wait. This was a corporate Challenger right? Therefore, technically it WAS the limosuine version. It just wasn't a stretch limosuine.
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I'll pick The Simpsons anyday.

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Aw gee...I always go for Howard Stern!

At least for sure, for sure you KNOW what you are going to get. SLEAZE!

But hey! Truth in advertising at it's finest!
 
Sometimes, I think that Jon Stewart is a better anchor than all the so-called real news anchors.

Hey, with him, at least you know he's not being serious.
 
haha that's great!!! we have a show just like that here in phx and it's the same thing - 2 goobers and 1 ditzo...only now, they took out the blonde bombshell after she got a "mommy cut" and put in some new blonde ditzo with all her long glorious hair.. only problem - still not a brain cell among them!

i happen to like watching Jon Stewart too...at least he gets to the bottom of things with a flair of humor! I hear more actual news watching him than any other channel!
 
The FOX morning trio is seriously unwatchable.

Having said that, it's the usual thing. There is no way to have accurate aviation reporting if they won't use experts. The local radio talk show host (a pilot) here was making fun of some of the comments Soledad (or whatever her name is) was making on CNN about the accident.

Rmember when you say "stall" they will always think "engine". And there isn't really any reason for them to know better. But they are paid to talk, so they do.
 
Channel 4 in San Diego's Ron Burgundy is my choice!

But seriously, I more or less 'ejected' myself from television news. I had the realization that if they're covering non-aviation topics as poorly as they cover aviation stories, I become that much dumber for watching.
 
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But seriously, I more or less 'ejected' myself from television news. I had the realization that if they're covering non-aviation topics as poorly as they cover aviation stories, I become that much dumber for watching.

[/ QUOTE ]I do not watch any television news anymore (except Jon Stewart who I Tivo religiously). I stopped after one day the light came on and I realized that I have never seen a news report about a subject I am familiar with that didn't contain some glaring error. It stands to reason, therefore, that they aren't just screwing up my subjects, but all subjects. So why bother watching. Life's just too short.
 
CNN exagerates in every possible way. They also rarely show good news, its always about the war or some tragic crash or something.
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Well, all news turns up the drama for ratings.

Besides, if people really wanted 'the straight scoop', CSPAN's ratings would be astronomical.
 
yeah, I hate news. Especially local news, it's just about one of the least informative shows to watch. These people have to realize that they don't know what they're talking about all the time, and that they can't know everything about everything, and that they need to find reliable sources before the whole world is dead from floating into outerspace because they're brains are so empty from unrelaible news!

But I was wacthing Matt Lauer on NBC....
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I want to expand on what I just said about matt lauer. I don't think he got anything wrong, as much as it was that he didn't really have any details, and it just sounded stupid because of that. Thats the other thing with news, don't go into depth and make yourself look like a moron about it until there is something solid to ride on! Because face it, at that time, there wasn't really anybody who knew why they aborted takeoff (except the pilots), so why are they talking about it? Just mention it in the headlines and leave it at that unitl you know for sure.
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Today's local news in PHX:

Lower fat potato chips
Michael Jackson
FBR Open
Water "crisis" from last week
 
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I want to expand on what I just said about matt lauer. I don't think he got anything wrong, as much as it was that he didn't really have any details, and it just sounded stupid because of that.

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It's OK, I'm not offended by any suggestions that Matt Lauer is an idiot. Ditto Catie. Just be careful what you say about Al Roker.
 
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