I'm kinda freaking out...

chrisreedrules

chrisreedrules

Master Blaster
So I've been sort of playfully joking around with my girlfriend lately about having a kid. I'm 26, she's 24, and we've been together for almost 4 years now. Well she has been feeling sick lately, and having odd body aches etc. So "on a hunch" she decides she wants to stop by the local pharmacy and pick up a pregnancy test. So naturally I'm teasing her about all the funny names I can think of for a kid all the way home. We get inside, she goes to the bathroom, and when she comes out... She says, "Well you can stop making jokes because it may really be time to think of a name!" :aghast: ...So I make her go back to the pharmacy and buy 3 more different tests. All came back "+". Oh boy... I think I'm going to be a dad. Overall I'm excited but I know this is absolutely huge. I feel mentally prepared for it but just a little apprehensive. It isn't at all like I planned it would happen. I wanted both of us to be absolutely done with school with relatively good jobs, married, and at least some daggum health insurance! So now we've got to figure out what we're gonna do. I'm going to be a dad. I'm kinda freaking out. I think I need a drink.
 
chrisreedrules said:
So I've been sort of playfully joking around with my girlfriend lately about having a kid. I'm 26, she's 24, and we've been together for almost 4 years now. Well she has been feeling sick lately, and having odd body aches etc. So "on a hunch" she decides she wants to stop by the local pharmacy and pick up a pregnancy test. So naturally I'm teasing her about all the funny names I can think of for a kid all the way home. We get inside, she goes to the bathroom, and when she comes out... She says, "Well you can stop making jokes because it may really be time to think of a name!" :aghast: ...So I make her go back to the pharmacy and buy 3 more different tests. All came back "+". Oh boy... I think I'm going to be a dad. Overall I'm excited but I know this is absolutely huge. I feel mentally prepared for it but just a little apprehensive. It isn't at all like I planned it would happen. I wanted both of us to be absolutely done with school with relatively good jobs, married, and at least some daggum health insurance! So now we've got to figure out what we're gonna do. I'm going to be a dad. I'm kinda freaking out. I think I need a drink.
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Look at the bright side... You'll be free again at 45.
 
I'd rather be a cool young dad than an old decrepit dad anyway.

Yeah, you'd rather be out of school, with a good job, and all that...but even after you accomplish all that, there will always be some reason why "it's better to wait, and do XYZ first". There's never a perfect time to have a kid. At least you're not 17. It will be fine.

Congrats.
 
Congrats!

Being a dad is awesome!

Best advice I can give is to be there for as much as you can. That and take time off when the big day comes around plus some. My daughter will be 8 weeks old when I go back to work and it has been the best 8 weeks of my life.
 
My twin boys are two and a half. The first few days especially are insane (maybe one is easier?) and don't plan on sleeping through the night for 6-8 months unless you're on the road. Read some books, ignore half the stuff you read online and enjoy your freedom now.

I wouldn't trade having kids for not having kids at this point. It's not all sunshine, but the great times are really great, far exceeding the bad times. This profession is tough because you miss a lot. One month is huge in terms of development from newborn to about a year. I've been unemployed about 3 months now and it's been great for time with the kids, especially since my wife was off school for the summer(teacher). After 3 years of 24/7 on call 135, it was great. I'll be starting with a regional soon and it will be tough not being home for everyone. But on some level, I think they understand already. "Daddy fly plane?"

Congratulations!
 
There is NO perfect time to have a kid. If you wait for "the perfect time" it'll never come and then it'll be too late.

Of course you're panicking, believe me, she is too.

You'll be fine. They start out small, and they stay in one place for the first few months. :)
 
Congrats!!! Having and raising children will be the most wonderful, meaningful, significant and fulfilling accomplishment of your entire life. You won't realize/understand this for a while ....but after all the diaper changes, spit ups, fevers, crying, sleepless nights, little illnesses,how much crap you have to buy for them, how much you stress and worry you go through (especially with the first baby) the first time that they run into your arms when you open the front door after returning home from a trip and they yell "Daddy" and throw their tiny arms around your neck and smother you will squeals, giggles and kisses........nothing else in life matters or begins to compare. You are joined by the heart for eternity.

You'll get by, survive, question everything, roller coaster up and down emotionally and wonder wth are we doing? We all did to some extent. In the end, you'll both be fine. Being and becoming a family will be one of the most wonderful experiences of your life.

I spent the day today with my wife at my daughters with her husband and their two kids my eldest son, his wife and their two babies, friends and other family members. Your children are your children forever and you are always their Dad no matter what. It's a wonderful thing. It's a bond like no other. And you get to relive all the best parts again and again with their children. Nothing like it, trust me on this.
 
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Congrats!

Our first came exactly the same way, I know what you are going through but as others have said, there really is never a "perfect" time. Your life will change, your perspective will change your priorities will change and you will never look back because you will not want to be anywhere else. We enjoyed it so much that we decided to do it a second time, now the proud father of two (really crazy to think about).

My advice is simple, don't stress, relax and have fun.

If you can convince her, don't find out via ultrasound, wait until the big day. Waiting to hear the doctor say "It's a ..." is so much more exciting than sitting in a room staring at a black and white image. Some people will say "well I am a planner", silly, the kid will have it's own plan. Buying everything in blue or pink sounds great in theory but if you have a second and it's the opposite sex, well you'll be wishing you had all that neutral stuff from not finding out the first time.
 
Matt13C said:
Buying everything in blue or pink sounds great in theory but if you have a second and it's the opposite sex, well you'll be wishing you had all that neutral stuff from not finding out the first time.
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We tried buying gender neutral stuff even though we had a girl. Very difficult when most things are either girl or boy. Some of the bigger stuff was easy, but small everyday stuff...
 
I hate when people say, "We're not finding out what it is, we want it to be a surprise!"

It's ALWAYS a surprise when you find out, whenever that moment is!! Personally, I really wanted to be able to plan & shop, so finding out gender in advance was a no brainer.

If you want to know in advance, but want something more special than a moment in a clinic in an ultrasound room, have the tech write on a piece of paper what it is and put it in an envelope. You can take the envelope, and make your own moment of when you open it. Go out to a nice restaurant, go to a nice spot at the beach, rent a plane and open it while flying... you can create a special moment. And yes, whenever that moment is, it'll be a surprise!
 
ctab5060X said:
We tried buying gender neutral stuff even though we had a girl. Very difficult when most things are either girl or boy. Some of the bigger stuff was easy, but small everyday stuff...
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Yeah, outfits were the hardest part. We ended up with lots of white, yellow and green clothing to start. Stroller, car seat, crib was all easy.

I just think people are missing out. Obviously we live in an on demand society and nobody wants to wait for anything anymore. But as an adult it is the greatest surprise you can have. Every kid went snooping for their Christmas presents, but we also knew our parents hid the big ones really well so the anticipation made it impossible to sleep.

Edit: Yes, as MQAAord says, it is always a surprise and this is just my opinion. But I enjoy the anticipation.
 
Congrats.

I'm 26, she's a couple years older, and we're twelve weeks in. Semi-planned, and it's going to be trial by fire. I can't wait to have a kid, but honestly, not too thrilled about having a baby... so hopefully not getting any sleep for the first couple years will speed things along.
 
MQAAord said:
I hate when people say, "We're not finding out what it is, we want it to be a surprise!"

It's ALWAYS a surprise when you find out, whenever that moment is!! Personally, I really wanted to be able to plan & shop, so finding out gender in advance was a no brainer.

If you want to know in advance, but want something more special than a moment in a clinic in an ultrasound room, have the tech write on a piece of paper what it is and put it in an envelope. You can take the envelope, and make your own moment of when you open it. Go out to a nice restaurant, go to a nice spot at the beach, rent a plane and open it while flying... you can create a special moment. And yes, whenever that moment is, it'll be a surprise!
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A couple folks we know have one of each and are preggo with the 3rd...since they have all the stuff for each they are not finding out till delivery day.
 
Roger Roger said:
A couple folks we know have one of each and are preggo with the 3rd...since they have all the stuff for each they are not finding out till delivery day.
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That's cool, and since they have 'stuff' they don't need the planning/shopping aspect.


When my brother was born (1971) she showed up to the hospital with a blue blanket. She KNEW he was going to be a boy (obviously this was pre-ultrasound days). She was right! When I was born (1975, still pre-ultrasound) she showed up to the hospital the day I was born with a pink sleeper. She KNEW I was a girl... That fascinates me. I "knew" my first was a boy, I don't really know how, but I just knew it. At the u/s when the tech said "it's a boy!" I wasn't surprised. My second I wasn't sure of... when the tech said "It's a boy" it was actually a moment of surprise, as I just hadn't had any strong feeling about it with him.

One of my mom's friends showed up to have her baby in 1981... baby boy was born! Yay! Then a few minutes later, she gets the urge to push again... doc feels up her belly and says, "Whoa there's another one in there!" Surprise twins! Baby girl was born, a total surprise. Baby 1 had been in front of Baby 2, so in listening to baby's heartbeat the twin "in front" blocked the doc from hearing the second heartbeat during her pre-natal visits. I'm glad those kind of surprises don't happen anymore!
 
MQAAord said:
I hate when people say, "We're not finding out what it is, we want it to be a surprise!"

It's ALWAYS a surprise when you find out, whenever that moment is!! Personally, I really wanted to be able to plan & shop, so finding out gender in advance was a no brainer.

If you want to know in advance, but want something more special than a moment in a clinic in an ultrasound room, have the tech write on a piece of paper what it is and put it in an envelope. You can take the envelope, and make your own moment of when you open it. Go out to a nice restaurant, go to a nice spot at the beach, rent a plane and open it while flying... you can create a special moment. And yes, whenever that moment is, it'll be a surprise!
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To heck with surprise. Just genetically create the sex of the kid you want from the outset: want a boy, make it happen. Want a girl, do the same.

Creepy, I realize. :)
 
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