Aeronautical engineer by training, aircraft financier/fleet planner by trade here.
The size of a wing is driven by many factors, the most dominant of which is the aircraft's maximum takeoff weight. Maximum takeoff weight is primarily driven by two factors: payload and range. The more payload you want to carry, the higher the MTOW and thus larger the wing will be. If you want to carry that payload over farther distances, you will need higher MTOW to carry more fuel and thus, will need a larger wing. There's a host of other nuances/factors that go into wing sizing, particularly takeoff performance, but MTOW is generally the biggest driver.
This MOM/797/NMA/whathaveyou won't be too far in passenger capacity from a 787-8, but it will be designed/optimized for a much lower range capability. As such, it should have a much smaller wing than the 787-8. The only reason it could creep up toward 787 levels would be for superior takeoff field performance, but remember - this comes at a penalty in cruise fuel burn, which is the 757's fatal flaw. The 757 has great field performance, but 737-900ER's and A321's eat it's lunch in fuel burn.
To answer both of your questions more directly, the wing of the A321neo or A321LR can probably withstand 3-5T more in MTOW before it is fully loaded/tapped out. This would translate into slightly more range capability if they keep adding auxiliary fuel tanks. Above that, it's takeoff field performance and cruise fuel performance will be unacceptable, so it will need either a new wing, new engines, or both.
There are several good blogs out that there explain aircraft performance very well for non-engineers, it's worth reading them if it interests you at all. Feel free to PM me if you're interested, I will send you the link.