Dealing with losing mom

B

BCTAv8r

Well-Known Member
Hey guys. Lost my mom a few days ago to cancer after a very stressful couple of years. She was only 53. I was wondering if anyone has any insight on dealing with it and how do you determine when you’re ready to get back to flying? It will obviously take a long time to feel any sort of normalcy again so how do you even know when to go back?
 
Thankfully (selfishly) I have nothing to offer other than condolences. I know I’m just a stranger dude on the internet, but if you ever need to talk, get in touch.
 
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I can’t give much advice other than talk to people when you need to, my inbox is always open.
 
BCTAv8r said:
Hey guys. Lost my mom a few days ago to cancer after a very stressful couple of years. She was only 53. I was wondering if anyone has any insight on dealing with it and how do you determine when you’re ready to get back to flying? It will obviously take a long time to feel any sort of normalcy again so how do you even know when to go back?
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I’m sorry, Brian. Losing a parent isn’t easy at all. Take some time off, you’ll know when you’re ready to start flying again.

I will admit that it’s something you have to actively work on for a while. When I lost my dad back in 1998, I was a trainwreck of self-doubt, sorrow and guilt because I had focused so hard on getting ahead and made some moronic choices when I didn’t accept that he was in his last few days and I’ve never lived it down.

I’m not religious at all, but I know he’s with me sometimes and it helps.

Talk it out, like this, with friends who have also had loss as everyone has a little something that you can use to cope and heal. Maybe even talking it out with a counselor (betterhelp.com?) if you feel you’re not getting what you feel you need from those in your circle. It’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and I wish I had those tools decades ago.

Your mom lives on, I remember when you first joined the website and how close you two were, especially imagining someone my own age had produced an intelligent, curious and driven son like you. She did a great job and you must continue to celebrate her.

I’ll shoot you my digits in PM if you don’t already have them if you need to chat.
 
derg said:
I’m sorry, Brian. Losing a parent isn’t easy at all. Take some time off, you’ll know when you’re ready to start flying again.

I will admit that it’s something you have to actively work on for a while. When I lost my dad back in 1998, I was a trainwreck of self-doubt, sorrow and guilt because I had focused so hard on getting ahead and made some moronic choices when I didn’t accept that he was in his last few days and I’ve never lived it down.

I’m not religious at all, but I know he’s with me sometimes and it helps.

Talk it out, like this, with friends who have also had loss as everyone has a little something that you can use to cope and heal. Maybe even talking it out with a counselor (betterhelp.com?) if you feel you’re not getting what you feel you need from those in your circle. It’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and I wish I had those tools decades ago.

Your mom lives on, I remember when you first joined the website and how close you two were, especially imagining someone my own age had produced an intelligent, curious and driven son like you. She did a great job and you must continue to celebrate her.

I’ll shoot you my digits in PM if you don’t already have them if you need to chat.
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Thanks, Doug. I appreciate the kind words and advice. With time I suppose it'll work itself out.
 
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