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You can, in theory, commute from anywhere, to anywhere. It's just a matter of how much of a PITA that commute is! A long or difficult commute may mean giving up more days off in transit (having to go in the day/night before, not getting home til the day after a trip). Loads to/from HNL tend to be very heavy, so non-reving can be difficult, and that leaves you the jumpseat, which you can only physically occupy on your own airline. If you try for a jumpseat on another carrier, you're relying on a seat being open in the back. (For now, hopefully this will change soon!)
It's all about how much you want to live where you want to live. If living there is worth the hassle, then it's doable.
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Yeah, non-reving to/from Hawaii is pretty bad right now. I just got back from a vacation in Hawaii and it was kinda hard. I was scared I wasn't going to make the flight. The flight going to Hawaii was completely full except by 2 seats and that was on the AA 757. Coming back was a little bit better, but still, you're taking chances on flights such as those.
Josh