gomntwins
Well-Known Member
Well, I ran into an interesting/horrible Christmas issue with my parents. Some of you may recall I posted on here a number of monthes ago about some girlfriend issues with my ex. Bottom line, I moved on, and things have been great... until Christmas.
These are issues I'm having with my parents. Not my current girlfriend. My current girlfriend and I have been together for awhile now... we'd been friends for years, and we decided a number of monthes ago to give it a shot. It's been amazing. Absolutely amazing. Good news for me... she's a girl I can see myself with forever.
The bad. This last Christmas (a couple days ago) she met my parents for the first time. I'm not going to lie. I haven't always been the best son. We've had our share of issues (my parents and myself), and this last Christmas went off with a few hitches. A few that were my fault. I didn't have the best haircut (I'm a freight pilot... it fits in where I work), I didn't have the best presents for my family, and I was not openly appreciative enough of the amount of work my mother put in to our Christmas. I understand that I screwed up, and I take that responsibility.
But. And the big but. My dad pointed out all these things to me (the issues I need to work on). That's fine. I can hold my own, I can take these comments, and I can work to fix them... and will try. But, my father than went on to personally attack my girlfriend. My parents were great in front of her. They treated her great, she was great, there were no issues... none. But, yesterday (the 26th) I talked with my father on the phone and he went on a rampage about her. He had nothing but personal attack after personal attack on her. I stood my ground. He openly told me that if I was to even consider marrying her it would be the hugest mistake. Why? Because she's heavyset. Also, she was tattoos. He had nothing to say about her personality... he openly admitted that he'd made his decision on her before she'd said anything. She's an amazing person. The sweetest, nicest, best girl I've ever been with. But, it was attack after attack after attack. I know some of his comments came out because he was mad at me, but there's a lot of honesty in what he said... he told me these things because he believes them. I know it.
My issues: my girlfriend thought it went great and loves my parents. Obviously, it did not. I didn't even know it didn't go great until after the fact. I'm not going to keep this from her. But, I don't know how open/honest I should be. Second issue: what should I do about my dad? I'm not going to give up on talking with him. He's my dad. I won't give up my parents, but I'm not going to lie... I've lost a lot of respect for him. I really don't know where to go from here.
I know I've screwed up, I do that a lot. I'll work on it. But, my dad made many comments that are pretty damn close to unforgivable. He attacked a person I care deeply for... and that's not acceptable.
Any ideas?
These are issues I'm having with my parents. Not my current girlfriend. My current girlfriend and I have been together for awhile now... we'd been friends for years, and we decided a number of monthes ago to give it a shot. It's been amazing. Absolutely amazing. Good news for me... she's a girl I can see myself with forever.
The bad. This last Christmas (a couple days ago) she met my parents for the first time. I'm not going to lie. I haven't always been the best son. We've had our share of issues (my parents and myself), and this last Christmas went off with a few hitches. A few that were my fault. I didn't have the best haircut (I'm a freight pilot... it fits in where I work), I didn't have the best presents for my family, and I was not openly appreciative enough of the amount of work my mother put in to our Christmas. I understand that I screwed up, and I take that responsibility.
But. And the big but. My dad pointed out all these things to me (the issues I need to work on). That's fine. I can hold my own, I can take these comments, and I can work to fix them... and will try. But, my father than went on to personally attack my girlfriend. My parents were great in front of her. They treated her great, she was great, there were no issues... none. But, yesterday (the 26th) I talked with my father on the phone and he went on a rampage about her. He had nothing but personal attack after personal attack on her. I stood my ground. He openly told me that if I was to even consider marrying her it would be the hugest mistake. Why? Because she's heavyset. Also, she was tattoos. He had nothing to say about her personality... he openly admitted that he'd made his decision on her before she'd said anything. She's an amazing person. The sweetest, nicest, best girl I've ever been with. But, it was attack after attack after attack. I know some of his comments came out because he was mad at me, but there's a lot of honesty in what he said... he told me these things because he believes them. I know it.
My issues: my girlfriend thought it went great and loves my parents. Obviously, it did not. I didn't even know it didn't go great until after the fact. I'm not going to keep this from her. But, I don't know how open/honest I should be. Second issue: what should I do about my dad? I'm not going to give up on talking with him. He's my dad. I won't give up my parents, but I'm not going to lie... I've lost a lot of respect for him. I really don't know where to go from here.
I know I've screwed up, I do that a lot. I'll work on it. But, my dad made many comments that are pretty damn close to unforgivable. He attacked a person I care deeply for... and that's not acceptable.
Any ideas?