bike21
9-5 Ruins Lives
I posted this on my blog for my non-aviation friends to enjoy, but I thought I would post it here too for a little entertainment and 'day in the life' purposes 
.......
Captains senior and wiser than myself have been asking me if 'the curse' has taken effect yet. In other words all the weird/crazy stuff that never happened when I was simple First Officer and had a good Captain to defer to when things went umm....not as planned. Well, now I am that guy with the responsibility and the 'curse' has apparently settled in. Here we go...
I started out in Bismarck, ND for what was supposed to be an easy day - Bismarck - Denver - Burbank and back to Denver. Three legs, easy money right? Perhaps not.
5:15am - Alarm goes off (4am Denver time) and I didn't sleep that well last night...lovely!
5:30am - Hit snooze for the 3rd time and want to throw my Palm Pilot across the room since the alarm feature doesn't always turn off or function how it is supposed to.
5:40am - I hate shaving.
6:05am - Hotel van driver is nice enough to run us by Starbucks on the way to the airport so I get a big coffee with an extra shot of espresso. Black - no sugar, no milk.
6:15am - Arrive at the airport and now have some coffee flowing through the veins so the day is getting better already.
6:20am - With the flight release in hand, I have a look at the flight plan and see how the day is going to unfold. Uh oh - lots of MELs listed (things not working on the airplane, but still safe to fly). Here is the list and when the day started to go downhill....
1) Auxillary Power Unit (APU) is busted. This means no heating (it was cold this morning!) or air conditioning on the ground. It also means we have to use an external power source to start the engines since the APU powers the turbines for engine start. Great.
2) ACARS (Aircraft Communication Addressing and Reporting System) is busted. This is how we get our performance data and weight & balance information these days. So the First Officer will have to do the calculations by hand and we will have to use even more brain power this early in the morning.
3) Autopilot is busted. Oh wonderful! Now - this would be generally not be so bad, but we have 6 hours of scheduled flight time ahead of us today and hand flying a jet is NOTHING like hand flying a Cessna. The CRJ 200 is a touch sensitive and doesn't like to stayed trimmed out up at the higher altitudes. Not to mention we are going to have to take on extra fuel because we cannot fly all that high since we are no longer RVSM (reduced vertical separation of aircraft) capable.
It feels like I am flying for Mesa Airlines (crappy airline) today! I call our regional coordinator to see if there is another plane available when we get back to Denver. Nope. No spares in the system available today so we are stuck with it. Awesome.
6:21am - [insert various expletives]
6:22am - Sip more coffee calm down a little.
6:40am - We are now out at the rather chilly plane trying to do our various preflight duties and stay warm. The passengers are boarding and complaining about the cold and taking all the 'clean' blankets down from the bins.
6:42am - A fellow company pilot comes up the cockpit to say hello, turns out he is going to have to sit up front with us since all the seats in the back are full. Great, now we have to add weight to the cargo area since the CRJ tends be very forward with the center of gravity. More calculations. Another sip of coffee.
7:05am - All the passengers are finally on board, the main cabin door is shut and it's time to leave. By the way we are now 5 minutes late thus far due to crapload of extraneous problems going on. Another ding for the bonus check!
7:15am - Thankfully it is the First Officer's turn to fly so I give him the controls once we reach the runway, he powers up and off we go. Finally! The sun is starting to rise in the east and the day is getting better.
7:40am - As we cross back into the mountain time zone, my coffee is starting to take effect and the First Officer is doing a good job flying, so indeed the day has taken a turn for the better. The air is smooth as pass over the northwestern corner of South Dakota so I turn the seat belt sign off and relax a little myself.
7:38am - (remember we switched time zones)....arrive at the gate in Denver and begin to deplane. As we get everyone off the plane and start to head inside for Starbucks round two, I notice a somewhat official looking fellow coming up the jet bridge. Yep, you guessed it. FAA. Can this day get any worse? We exchange pleasantries and he seems to be a nice enough guy. Turns out he needs to get out to Burbank do to some official FAA work, but he will still be riding up front with us in the jumpseat since he is after all an Aviation Safety Inspector and they like to check us out when they can. Fair enough, now I get to hand fly a busted airplane for a 2 hour flight across the western U.S. with a Fed in the jumpseat. I'm gonna need more coffee.
7:50am - Double shot of espresso in hand, I head back to the plane and get ready for a 'fun' two hour flight. Check the weather at Burbank - looks like the morning marine layer is still hanging out so we are going to have to do an instrument approach and have an alternate of LAX. Great, busted airplane, Fed in the jumpseat, and a hand flown instrument approach after a 2 hour flight. Maybe I should have gotten more coffee...check that...there won't be a good chance to ummm....'relieve' myself during the flight. No more coffee for now.
7:51am - Find out our flight attendant is going to get a line check (proficiency and safety test by a senior flight attendant) on the next two legs, so now she is nervous. Seems we all are having a mighty fine day.
8:37am - 27,000 feet - as we cross over the Rocky Mountains and check out last night's snowfall, I figure out I still know how to hand fly an airplane and the Fed is a pretty cool guy. We are talking about all things aviation and fly fishing so the day is once again taking a turn for the better.
9:56am - (pacific time) Hit the pavement of runway 8 at Burbank and I deploy the reverse thrust quickly and get on the brakes fast. With only about 5,800 feet of runway this is not the time to mess around with slowing down.
10:00am - Arrive at the gate in Burbank (Bob Hope Airport), shake the Feds hand, he says "great job" and I am thinking...'thanks, but get outta my way because the coffee has made it through me!'.
10:20am - The flight attendant comes up to the cockpit and informs me there a few government employees who are giving her grief about stowing their laptops properly. Apparently these folks consider themselves very important and cannot be fewer than a few feet from said laptops. Apparently it is for security reasons, but at this point I have stopped caring. I tell her if they can't stow them properly I will remove these passengers from the plane and they can take the next flight.
10:22am - Laptops stowed, off we go.
11:00am - As we cross over top of Las Vegas and head toward the Grand Canyon, I finish the remainder of my absurdly expensive turkey wrap I purchased back in Burbank and am very relieved the day is just about over.
1:50pm - Back at the gate in Denver, I say goodbye to my busted yet trusty airplane and head for the crew lounge. I am ready to go home!
2:00pm - I run into some fellow members of the ALPA Organizing Committee (we have a union vote underway) and decide to hang out and volunteer for a bit. Gonna need more coffee.
4:00pm - Sufficiently cracked out on coffee and tired from a long day, I bid adieu to my pilot brethren and head home.
What a day. And at the end of day like this...I still love my job
-------------------
Oh and I gotta give a little credit to Ethan for coming up with the time-line style post
.......
Captains senior and wiser than myself have been asking me if 'the curse' has taken effect yet. In other words all the weird/crazy stuff that never happened when I was simple First Officer and had a good Captain to defer to when things went umm....not as planned. Well, now I am that guy with the responsibility and the 'curse' has apparently settled in. Here we go...
I started out in Bismarck, ND for what was supposed to be an easy day - Bismarck - Denver - Burbank and back to Denver. Three legs, easy money right? Perhaps not.
5:15am - Alarm goes off (4am Denver time) and I didn't sleep that well last night...lovely!
5:30am - Hit snooze for the 3rd time and want to throw my Palm Pilot across the room since the alarm feature doesn't always turn off or function how it is supposed to.
5:40am - I hate shaving.
6:05am - Hotel van driver is nice enough to run us by Starbucks on the way to the airport so I get a big coffee with an extra shot of espresso. Black - no sugar, no milk.
6:15am - Arrive at the airport and now have some coffee flowing through the veins so the day is getting better already.
6:20am - With the flight release in hand, I have a look at the flight plan and see how the day is going to unfold. Uh oh - lots of MELs listed (things not working on the airplane, but still safe to fly). Here is the list and when the day started to go downhill....
1) Auxillary Power Unit (APU) is busted. This means no heating (it was cold this morning!) or air conditioning on the ground. It also means we have to use an external power source to start the engines since the APU powers the turbines for engine start. Great.
2) ACARS (Aircraft Communication Addressing and Reporting System) is busted. This is how we get our performance data and weight & balance information these days. So the First Officer will have to do the calculations by hand and we will have to use even more brain power this early in the morning.
3) Autopilot is busted. Oh wonderful! Now - this would be generally not be so bad, but we have 6 hours of scheduled flight time ahead of us today and hand flying a jet is NOTHING like hand flying a Cessna. The CRJ 200 is a touch sensitive and doesn't like to stayed trimmed out up at the higher altitudes. Not to mention we are going to have to take on extra fuel because we cannot fly all that high since we are no longer RVSM (reduced vertical separation of aircraft) capable.
It feels like I am flying for Mesa Airlines (crappy airline) today! I call our regional coordinator to see if there is another plane available when we get back to Denver. Nope. No spares in the system available today so we are stuck with it. Awesome.
6:21am - [insert various expletives]
6:22am - Sip more coffee calm down a little.
6:40am - We are now out at the rather chilly plane trying to do our various preflight duties and stay warm. The passengers are boarding and complaining about the cold and taking all the 'clean' blankets down from the bins.
6:42am - A fellow company pilot comes up the cockpit to say hello, turns out he is going to have to sit up front with us since all the seats in the back are full. Great, now we have to add weight to the cargo area since the CRJ tends be very forward with the center of gravity. More calculations. Another sip of coffee.
7:05am - All the passengers are finally on board, the main cabin door is shut and it's time to leave. By the way we are now 5 minutes late thus far due to crapload of extraneous problems going on. Another ding for the bonus check!
7:15am - Thankfully it is the First Officer's turn to fly so I give him the controls once we reach the runway, he powers up and off we go. Finally! The sun is starting to rise in the east and the day is getting better.
7:40am - As we cross back into the mountain time zone, my coffee is starting to take effect and the First Officer is doing a good job flying, so indeed the day has taken a turn for the better. The air is smooth as pass over the northwestern corner of South Dakota so I turn the seat belt sign off and relax a little myself.
7:38am - (remember we switched time zones)....arrive at the gate in Denver and begin to deplane. As we get everyone off the plane and start to head inside for Starbucks round two, I notice a somewhat official looking fellow coming up the jet bridge. Yep, you guessed it. FAA. Can this day get any worse? We exchange pleasantries and he seems to be a nice enough guy. Turns out he needs to get out to Burbank do to some official FAA work, but he will still be riding up front with us in the jumpseat since he is after all an Aviation Safety Inspector and they like to check us out when they can. Fair enough, now I get to hand fly a busted airplane for a 2 hour flight across the western U.S. with a Fed in the jumpseat. I'm gonna need more coffee.
7:50am - Double shot of espresso in hand, I head back to the plane and get ready for a 'fun' two hour flight. Check the weather at Burbank - looks like the morning marine layer is still hanging out so we are going to have to do an instrument approach and have an alternate of LAX. Great, busted airplane, Fed in the jumpseat, and a hand flown instrument approach after a 2 hour flight. Maybe I should have gotten more coffee...check that...there won't be a good chance to ummm....'relieve' myself during the flight. No more coffee for now.
7:51am - Find out our flight attendant is going to get a line check (proficiency and safety test by a senior flight attendant) on the next two legs, so now she is nervous. Seems we all are having a mighty fine day.
8:37am - 27,000 feet - as we cross over the Rocky Mountains and check out last night's snowfall, I figure out I still know how to hand fly an airplane and the Fed is a pretty cool guy. We are talking about all things aviation and fly fishing so the day is once again taking a turn for the better.
9:56am - (pacific time) Hit the pavement of runway 8 at Burbank and I deploy the reverse thrust quickly and get on the brakes fast. With only about 5,800 feet of runway this is not the time to mess around with slowing down.
10:00am - Arrive at the gate in Burbank (Bob Hope Airport), shake the Feds hand, he says "great job" and I am thinking...'thanks, but get outta my way because the coffee has made it through me!'.
10:20am - The flight attendant comes up to the cockpit and informs me there a few government employees who are giving her grief about stowing their laptops properly. Apparently these folks consider themselves very important and cannot be fewer than a few feet from said laptops. Apparently it is for security reasons, but at this point I have stopped caring. I tell her if they can't stow them properly I will remove these passengers from the plane and they can take the next flight.
10:22am - Laptops stowed, off we go.
11:00am - As we cross over top of Las Vegas and head toward the Grand Canyon, I finish the remainder of my absurdly expensive turkey wrap I purchased back in Burbank and am very relieved the day is just about over.
1:50pm - Back at the gate in Denver, I say goodbye to my busted yet trusty airplane and head for the crew lounge. I am ready to go home!
2:00pm - I run into some fellow members of the ALPA Organizing Committee (we have a union vote underway) and decide to hang out and volunteer for a bit. Gonna need more coffee.
4:00pm - Sufficiently cracked out on coffee and tired from a long day, I bid adieu to my pilot brethren and head home.
What a day. And at the end of day like this...I still love my job
-------------------
Oh and I gotta give a little credit to Ethan for coming up with the time-line style post
