I'm always interested to see threads like this, and I wish the Pilot/Controller forum was busier.
@ntbjounin PA44totracon has given some good advice. Performance management is an abstract idea at my facility, but actual counseling or work to improve a particular knowledge gap is seldom seen unless the issue is pressed. I would always call in if you think you didn't receive good service. Sometimes you might not see "the big picture," as Autothrust jokes (sometimes it is true), but sometimes you have a legitimate complaint.
Just a minor note here, and I'm not saying it was the case in your particular situation, but various letters of agreement at my facility require certain miles in trail over the same fix going into approach airspace, so if the guy behind you is quite a bit less than 10 MIT and overtaking, you've got to get 10 somehow. Someone's getting punished.
You're right that it goes both ways, but I think it's a good thing to hash it out here. Keep it professional on the radio, but still get a consensus about your concerns.