Unscientific survey for an article I'm writing: Kids - why?

SeatClutcher

SeatClutcher

Pasta.
There's no shortage of articles asking why people choose to not have children, so I'm writing one that finally asks why people DO choose to have children.

If you have children, why did you have them? (If the answer is, "I've always wanted them," why did you want them? If you live in Connecticut and care to have your name used, let me know. Otherwise, this will be purely informational to help me shape the piece and no one will be named or quoted.)

Also, I'm just generally curious, article or no article.
 
At 27 years of age, many of the couples in my age group are having them. Grand parents, parents, aunts, uncles and peers start asking when you are going to have kids. I know my wife almost pressured to do it because that's just what you do after you graduate from college, get married and buy a house. Call it peer pressure. Hopefully the pressure doesn't make a person decide whether or not to have kids, but it may have a bearing on when it happens.

My wife and I both want children, but have decided to get established professionally first.
 
Never really thought about it beyond "that might be cool one day" until the little plastic stick gave us the greatest surprise ever.

I personally believe that you need to have your own before you will know for sure if being a parent is for you. Obviously that present a huge problem, you cant exactly put them back. However, if I made a decision to have them or not based off seeing friends and other family members with kids, I may have been swayed the opposite direction. Obviously life had other plans and kicked the door wide open before I could close it, but I am incredibly thankful it did so.
 
Why do some people want to be pilots? Why do some people want to be engineers? Why do some people want to be parents? Sometimes ,"they just do".

I always knew I wanted a couple kids of my own. I wanted them before I was 30 so I'd be young enough to deal with them, considering their high-needs I'm glad I was young. They're a handful. That's pretty much the only life goal I've managed to accomplish...
 
Retirement planning, I figure if I have enough at least one will become a banksta and pay for my extravagant lifestyle as I age...
 
Well, it might sound corny, but I believe it's part of our mission as humans... As the Good Book says, be fruitful and multiply. Or if you're not of the religious persuasion, the evolutionary biological imperitave.

That and since I can't live forever, and don't want to deprive the world of my awesomeness, I figure I better make a few partial copies of me.
 
I will say this though: I think that not everyone is meant to be a parent. Sure, it's "animal biological behavior" to procreate and continue the species... BUT we're a little more evolved than [most] animals. So, as much as I love my kids, and knew I wanted them, and am prepared as a parent to follow through with my responsibility to care for them and get them to adulthood, I will say that I'm not one of those omg-everyone-should-have-kids kind of people. I've never asked a couple when they'll be having their first kid (it's none of my business) or asked a parent of a single child when that child will be getting a sibling (again it's none of my business!). I fully respect those who have made the choice to not have kids.
 
This isn't a judgement piece, but just a look at why people decide to have kids. Other choices can be reversed, so it's a little different from making a choice you can later change your mind about (even the child free have the option to change their minds).

Thanks for the replies so far! Appreciate it.
 
SeatClutcher

Until recently, I was quite opposed to having children. I'd had a multitude of reasons for it over the years, although much of it was coming back to me being fundamentally selfish. Which is fine when it's not hurting anyone, y'know?

My fiancee' was the same way.

However, we've started realizing in a very intimate way that as we're getting older, we really like each other just as much as we love each other, and we have been thinking that it would be awfully neat to meet the person who would be both of us.

So from an irrational, purely emotional perspective, I think we've been considering having children because we love each other enough that the gift of a child is one of the best experiences we can give to each other and have together for a lifetime.

Plus, I'm having a hard time teaching the cat to go to the fridge and get me another beer.
 
Because I was an IDIOT!!!!!! :bang: At least 3 times, more if you ask my wife.

Why do I keep them? Because they know where I live, dang internet. :biggrin:

Don't know if it has anything to do with coming from a large family and there always being a little person around. You get suckered in, kind of like a puppy. OH How Cute.




killbilly said:
SeatClutcher
and we have been thinking that it would be awfully neat to meet the person who would be both of us.
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Yeah I thought that as well until I met them. One will find out the gene pools somehow gets drastically changed when offspring show up.
 
killbilly said:
SeatClutcher

Until recently, I was quite opposed to having children. I'd had a multitude of reasons for it over the years, although much of it was coming back to me being fundamentally selfish. Which is fine when it's not hurting anyone, y'know?
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Selfish behavior by definition is behavior that impacts someone else. How were you being selfish by not wanting kids? (Just curious.)

Plus, I'm having a hard time teaching the cat to go to the fridge and get me another beer.
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ha. :)
 
I know this isn't what you were asking, but I always wanted kids. Then people I know started having them and to be quite honest...the people I know (minus one or two) do nothing but bitch and moan about how hard it is. Very rarely to they post anything positive on Facebook or say something on the phone like "so today little (insert name here) did the coolest thing."

Its all "I'm friggin tired, don't have any time to ourselves, broke, etc."

Then they go and have another one.

Right now, I'm on the fence.
 
I was indifferent but the wife wanted kids and hey you gotta knock boots to have em, so what the heck. After the first one, it must be something primal that flips in your brain because the second one was even more exciting. As much as I would like to breed my own defensive line, there is a practical aspect too. Kids are expensive, you are tired and you don't get to "go out" as much. I wouldn't trade any of it for all the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in the world though.

I was raised an only child the wife has an older sister and younger brother, she wants a third but we are finding out two is just about perfect. We can split up with the kids easily without one being "left out". Ours are 7 years apart though.
 
Dugie8 said:
I was indifferent but the wife wanted kids and hey you gotta knock boots to have em, so what the heck. After the first one, it must be something primal that flips in your brain because the second one was even more exciting. As much as I would like to breed my own defensive line, there is a practical aspect too. Kids are expensive, you are tired and you don't get to "go out" as much. I wouldn't trade any of it for all the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in the world though.

I was raised an only child the wife has an older sister and younger brother, she wants a third but we are finding out two is just about perfect. We can split up with the kids easily without one being "left out". Ours are 7 years apart though.
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Plus, once you go from "man-to-man" to "zone" defense you're screwed!

I kid, I kid...

I think I wanted to have kids because I have a huge ego and I just couldn't conceive of a world without my DNA in it, for better or for worse. So far it's turned out on the better side. I have 2 sons, 22 and 18 years old, and they are: taller, smarter, & more handsome than me!

It's a big gamble, though. You never know how it will turn out until you see them mature into adulthood.

My gamble paid off because I bet on the right mate...

Now ask my wife what she thinks!

Kevin
 
exneophyte said:
I know my wife almost pressured to do it because that's just what you do after you graduate from college, get married and buy a house. Call it peer pressure. Hopefully the pressure doesn't make a person decide whether or not to have kids, but it may have a bearing on when it happens.

My wife and I both want children, but have decided to get established professionally first.
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Genuinely confused - you want them, or you feel pressured to have them?
 
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