Yer on Gard! Guard Police revisited...

SpiceWeasel

SpiceWeasel

Tre Kronor
Now, I know none of the people here are "guard police", but I wanted to share a funny story from the other day.

So, there I was, on the arrival into KCLE, with the guard freq in #2, when I heard some tower announce a test of their system on guard. "xyz tower, radio check on guard, 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9"

They must have been testing multiple radios, because this controller didn't announce who they were for the second test, just said "other radio 9 8 ...."

In steps Chief of Guard Police "Hey, test your radios on some other frequency! You're on guard!"

Well, she didn't reply, but another pilot on guard said "yeah, I'm pretty sure that's flight service testing their radios"...

Anyways, just food for thought, when you chew someone out on the radio.... it just sounds like you're the jerk.
 
There was a guy working an emergency over VHF Guard the other day with ATC. STILL, there were idiots coming on the freq with "you're on Guard!!!" At least ATC made an announcement "Inflight emergency in progress, all other aircraft clear this freq!". Which shut the rest of the idiots up.
 
cencal83406 said:
Now, I know none of the people here are "guard police", but I wanted to share a funny story from the other day.

So, there I was, on the arrival into KCLE, with the guard freq in #2, when I heard some tower announce a test of their system on guard. "xyz tower, radio check on guard, 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9"

They must have been testing multiple radios, because this controller didn't announce who they were for the second test, just said "other radio 9 8 ...."

In steps Chief of Guard Police "Hey, test your radios on some other frequency! You're on guard!"

Well, she didn't reply, but another pilot on guard said "yeah, I'm pretty sure that's flight service testing their radios"...

Anyways, just food for thought, when you chew someone out on the radio.... it just sounds like you're the jerk.
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It is kind of amusing that the guard police had to remind them that they were on guard.... since, you know, that was in their transmission.


 
I wish everyone would get this straight. The primary purpose of guard is for use by the Air Force as an air-air briefing frequency.
 
Reminds me of picking up my kids from my parents' last year. For about 30 minutes, some asshats in upstate New York were making pattern calls on guard, despite multiple guard police interventions. Then they ramped up the tard factor with 'cleared inverted' etc to further demonsrtate their extreme manliness. One of the airline guys sounded like he was going to stroke out after that started.
 
What's really awesome is when you're in the flight levels, and you hear someone make a traffic call, or call for the fuel truck on guard. Then you get the pleasure of hearing everyone within 500 miles say 'YEEEERRRRR OOOON TWURRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP'
 
MikeD said:
There was a guy working an emergency over VHF Guard the other day with ATC. STILL, there were idiots coming on the freq with "you're on Guard!!!" At least ATC made an announcement "Inflight emergency in progress, all other aircraft clear this freq!". Which shut the rest of the idiots up.
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I have the same on guard. It frustrates the heck out of me.

Blackhawk said:
I wish everyone would get this straight. The primary purpose of guard is for use by the Air Force as an air-air briefing frequency.
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LMAO
 
I guess there was a stuck mic on guard the other day and the guard police came out in full force with riot shields letting them know there was a stuck mic on guard for a good 5 minutes.... but if your the one with a stuck mic you cant hear them telling you that you have a stuck mic.. right? .. or am I a total tard?:dunno:
 
I think I told this story the last time we had a guard police thread, but it is a good one...

Working one of the MOA's west of Meridian one nice day a while back, friend of mine started hearing some guard comm chatter from a regional jet asking for a clearance. After numerous "you are on guard" calls, with repeated requests for clearance from said female RJ pilot, someone finally chimed in "somewhere out there tonight, there is a lonely kitchen"

Sorry to all the female JC'ers but that was damn funny :)
 
I called ops the other day on guard... "Hey ops, 1649 is on the ground for D4..."

Realized I was on guard....


"All you guard police, for the record that was Southwest 1649."



Got another guy really good a few weeks ago:

xxx123: (on guard) Hey ops, 123..."

me: "yeah, 123 go wit ops.."

xxx123: "123 is checking on the status of gate B21"

me: "uhh.. copy dat. it be occupied fo about 20 minutes. can you hold out?"

xxx123: "uhh.. ... ok?"


Then the guard police jumped in and ruined my fun. :(
 
Messing with someone trying to reach Gander or Shanwick on 123.45 is equal fun as well!

"Calling Gander, go ahead?"

"Yeah, American 458 looking for a selcal check, code is ADFG"

"Coming with your selcal check American 458. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

"Negative, negative try again... Wait. Oh crap, screw you guys!"
 
Ooooh we've had so much fun with this one. Is it possible to be the uber sarcastic guard Nazi? Yet it is. Probably scared a few poor chaps a time or two ;)

'Ya're onnnnn gard!!!!!'

[yeah, my FO and I were kinda bored]
 
mikeypat15 said:
Agreed, you hear it happening, and just know that multiple pilots within 250 miles are getting their mic ready for the moment he/she finishes. "Good job, try it on the passengers this time."
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Of course I would never make such a simpleton mistake.
 
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